Derek posted a questionnaire on MySpace, and rather just answer there for his amusement I figured on trying to amuse some of you as well. The bulletin and my answers follow:
So yeah, on friends list, blah blah blah, want to know stuff, yadda yadda.
reply to me and answer the questions OR FEROCIOUS UNICORNS WILL VISIT AND RUIN YOUR VEHICLE'S PAINT JOB! No, seriously...Anyway, look! Questions!
1.)Q. Can you cook?
1.)A. Not very well, but well enough to not die yet.
2.)Q. What was your dream growing up?
2.)A. It mostly involved dozens of giant tornados, mass destruction and invading aliens. I still have it ever other year or so.
3.)Q. What talent do you wish you had?
3.)A. I wish I was funny. No. I mean really funny.
4.)Q. If I bought you a drink what would it be?
5.)Q. Favorite vegetable?
5.)A. They're all so clever, I don't think I can single out a favorite. Although carrots have been really outstanding lately. Broccoli could be trying harder.
6.)Q. What was the last book you read?
6.)A. 'The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove' by Christopher Moore
7.)Q. What zodiac sign are you ?
7.)A. I'm on the right side of the line between Aquarius and Pisces. The wrong side being Pisces.
8.)Q. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
8.)A. Not on me, but I have several tattoos on other people.
9.)Q. Worst Habit?
9.)A. Working. I'd kick it, but then I would get the shakes real bad and all my stuff would disappear.
10.)Q. If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11.)Q. What is your favorite sport?
11.)A. Hunting for compliments.
12.)Q. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
12.)A. Which do you think? Wrong!
13.)Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
13.)A. Forever? Kill you when you're sleeping and eat you to survive, I guess. I'd be sad about it though.
14.)Q. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
14.)A. Have my "girlfriend" have sex with my "best friend" because I was "moving too slow" when I was 18. That's the first to come to mind. There's probably worse.
15.)Q. Tell me one weird fact about you:
15.)A. I have a freckle in the middle of my lower lip. I think it's weird.
16.)Q. Do you have any pets?
16.)A. Several. A couple pass for children.
17.)Q. What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
17.)A. My dog would bark at you. The children might too.
18.)Q. What was your first impression of me?
18.)A. Aloof art snob.
19.)Q. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
19.)A. Why can't they be both? Is it right to put a limit on clowns? Just kidding. There's no such thing as a cute clown.
20.)Q. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be???
20.)A. I wouldn't mind losing around 60 lbs. Without, you know, diet or exercise.
21.)Q. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
21.)A. Apparently crime partner.
22.)Q. What color eyes do you have?
23.)Q. Ever been arrested?
23.)A. Not as such.
24.)Q. Bottle or Draft?
24.)A. Bottles are great ways to hold liquids, and drafts are great ways to kill young men. Hmmmm. I'll say "Bottle".
25.)Q. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
25.)A. Pay off my VISA. Seriously. I want that fucker paid off.
26.)Q. Would you date me?
26.)A. Is this like "Name that currency"? I'll say 1975.
27.)Q. What 's your favorite bar to hang at?
27.)A. You've GOT to be kidding. The monkey bar! hur-hur.
28.)Q. Do you believe in ghosts?
28.)A. I allow the possibility, but haven't personally experienced the spooky.
29.)Q. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29.)A. Game, read or draw.
30.)Q. Do you swear a lot?
30.)A. Not normally, without provocation.
31.)Q. Biggest pet peeve?
31.)A. Like I would hand you that kind of ammo.
32.)Q. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33.)Q. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same
33.)A. Why do I have to repost this so you can fill it out? You already have it! Lazy.