Wednesday, June 30, 2004


Justin was kind enough to remind me that not everybody has the time to keep track of what is going on in the forum.

So he misses the announcement of new games since I stopped talking about them here.

I stopped talking about them here because it seemed like that was all I was posting, and I assumed that the people who wanted to play would see the announcements on the forum.

Oops. Not so much it would seem.

So, from now on when I start a new game on the forum I will post an announcement here as well.

I started a new game on the forum.

Sorry for the inconsiderate behavior on my part. The good news is the deadline for the stories is Friday, end of day. So go, Justin! Write like you've never written before! Cowboy up! heh.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

One is the loneliest postie that you'll ever dooooo!

Okay, yes. I've met someone and we are getting along splendidly. Somehow what little free time I have had in the past has evaporated and that means I'm boring as all hell here.

I'm sorry about that.

It wasn't something that I had been expecting to come along, especially so quickly, no matter how much I have been hoping for it. And it came from someone that I never would have imagined having an interest in me. But that's not so surprising. That could be almost anyone, from my perspective.

Her family likes me, and that is good. She is a she, and that too is good. And she REALLY likes me. Really good. And I feel for her with the same level of intensity that she's shown me. We feel like a good match.

We want to take things slow, but it is very difficult. And not everything around our pursuit of each other is good. But that is for us to work through, and not for you, my visitors, to worry about.

So, that is what I've had on my mind since my last post. Actually, since before my last post. I just wasn't ready to put it into words for the world to read. (those of you who visit ARE the world! At least the world that matters to me. All the rest can go lick a bug.)

And I can HARDLY wait to see what Derek is going to do with this at fizzle & poop. Another reason I held off. Bastard.

I will return to the funny soon.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Boy Murders Balloon. Film at 11.

This past weekend Heather and I were in downtown Colorado Springs checking out a really big used bookstore. We happened to do this on the only day they were holding the annual Springs Spree celebration. Roads were closed off and people were everywhere. We saw some that were very interesting, two of which stick in my mind.

The first was the hairy, butt crack of doom that put in its appearance across from the fountain in Acacia park. I already talked about him in the comments at Heather's site.

The second we also saw in Acacia Park as we were leaving.

We had pulled up to the corner of Platte and Nevada right at the north-east corner of the park. I looked over to talk to Heather and saw this gangly, freaky looking teenager through her window swinging a balloon against a tree by its string. I said something like, "Look at that! Is that kid beating up a balloon?" She looked and agreed that he certainly was pounding the latex.

Finally, after many anguished swings, he beat the balloon to death. It popped and landed on the sidewalk. I figured, "Well, he killed it." and thought he would wander off to find something else weird to do.

But then he surprised both of us. He went over to the crumpled balloon body, looked around for witnesses (we were sitting about ten feet from him at the red light, staring straight at him and laughing), then picked up the balloon, walked over to a bush – still looking for witnesses – and then he HID THE BODY IN A BUSH! He took special care to make sure the string was hidden as well.

By then the light turned green and we drove away, laughing the whole time.

I have never seen more bizarre behavior exhibited by anyone not obviously insane. If he was planning on actually committing some non-floating-plaything homicide, at the absolute least he might want to work on his observation skills.

People are funny.

Monday, June 21, 2004


Derek posted the 10 words for the next round of Storytelling at the forum and I set up the first, no timed-no vote list as well. If you want to compete concentrate on the one that will be ending on Wednesday. Derek's list.

Oh yeah, and about 15 minutes into watching 'Starsky & Hutch' on Saturday at the Dollar Theater my eye finally stopped leaking. I figure it was karma for the cartoon I made awhile back. I'll have to watch that.

Also, there's other stuff going on in my life right now that is going to cut into the time I have for posting and for messing around in the forum. I'll explain more at a later time.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Eye'm All Right...

My own little adventure today. I will assemble this into something that makes sense at a later time.

old lady
canadian meds
search engines
time to learn


Okay, to set some minds at ease, no this list of words isn't for the next Storytelling game. These were quick notes so that I wouldn't forget my amazing, fantastical adventure to the doctor yesterday! It was a thing of joy. Allow me to recount the events:

First, for those who didn't know, my right eye started to leak tears last Thursday on my way in to work. I figured that they were just sensitive to the sun and didn't really think much of it. But it didn't stop and I spent the day constantly wiping my eye.

On Friday, it was still happening. Being who I am, I resisted even thinking about going to the doctor. Can't stand it. Have my reasons.

Saturday it was still leaking and my lower lid was feeling tender from all of the rubbing. But I was going to go to karaoke dammit! Drippy eye be damned! So, I went, sang for a change, and had fun in spite of the idiot DJ and the ciggy smoke. I didn't get home until 1:30 a.m. I had decided earlier in the evening that if my eye was still messed up on Monday I would make a doctor's appointment. Not really meaning a word of it. It would get better on its own.

Sunday my head hurt, my eyes hurt and my throat hurt. There was only a small amount of tearing from my eye so I figured all was well. I finished off the day with a feeling of pressure in my head, but otherwise okay.

I woke up Monday morning with my right eye stuck shut. When I looked in the mirror I saw that the lower lid was puffed up and crusty. I got in the shower and let the hot water wash away the crust but when I was done it was still puffy and had started to leak about as bad as before. I called in to work sick, took a hot washcloth, put it against my eye and fell asleep.

I awoke near noon with the cold damp washcloth still in place and my eye feeling a bit scratchy but no longer puffy. Still leaky though. I logged into AIM®™©, saw Derek online and asked him how work was going. I felt guilty for not being there. I always do when I'm out sick. I'm stupid like that.

I filled him in on what was up with my eye and he told me that I needed to go to the doctor. I didn't want to. It'll be fine, I was sure. He sent me to and I followed the symptoms I was experiencing on the symptom doll ("for the records, point out again where he touched you.") and eventually arrived at a page that said, "Go to the doctor. It's not going to get better on its own. Dummy."

So fine. I called the doctor's office to schedule an appointment. Nobody was there. It seems they close the office from noon to 2pm for lunch. I had forgotten this because it had been a long time sine I last went. After 2pm I was able to schedule the appointment for the following day at 2:15pm. The rest of the night was drippy.

Tuesday I woke up with a bit of crust, but no swelling and only a little bit o' leaking. For a moment the thought crossed my mind that I might not have to go to the doctor after all. But no. It hadn't stopped yet. It was just teasing me. I showered and went to work.

As a side note to the day, I wanted to take a fast lunch so I ran down the street to Subway. They were out of bread. They sold 75 sandwiches in an hour and were just finally able to start making new bread. Well, fine. Great. I went out and looked at my options. I settled on Popeye's . A little irony with my lunch. Helps the digestion.

I took off at ten to two in the middle of a rainstorm. Lightning, thunder, tornadoes, hail. God was with me, I could feel it. I arrived at the doctor's with five minutes to spare. There was a lull in the rain, so I hurried from my car staying low to avoid any rogue lightning or tornadoes. At first I couldn't remember which door was the one I needed. I thought it might be the one the old man in the walker was parked in front of and looking disgustedly at, but no. It was the other one that was open. Mocking me.

I got inside and the receptionist had her head down on her desk like she was taking a nap. I guess those two hour lunches really wear on a person. She looked up at me like, "Dude I was dreaming of ponies and you had to go and wake me! Fucker!" but she was actually nice about it in a monotone way. She asked my name, if my insurance information was still correct and told me to have a seat. Someone would be with me shortly.

I think that is the only part of the whole thing that went as advertised. Someone was with me shortly. She was a very sad woman. She seemed like she was wishing that she could dream of ponies for a change. But no, it was her duty to deal with me.

She took me back and weighed me. I asked if I should take off my big, honkin' boots but she said she would adjust for that. Then she slid the weights rapidly around. to her credit she started with the big one set at 200, 'cause I hide my weight well (insert eye roll). She slid the next one all the way to the end and the beam didn't even waver. It may have snickered though. Or it might have been her. I don't know. I was just thinking, "See? I should have taken off the boots." So a quick flip of the big one to the next notch and the beam dropped with the little one still at the far end. Yay me! I'm still a few pounds shy of "fat bastard". She slid the small one back along the beam until it shifted up again, noted my weight in my record as "Hefty fucker" and took me to the examining room for the blood pressure test and to await the doctor. At least this time she didn't whistle when she got the readings.

So, there I sat, waiting for the doctor. I spent some time watching an ant run a dizzy pattern across the tile floor. I considered crushing him, but then decided, "Nahhh. Just because my day is sucking is no reason to take it out on him."

I could hear the doctor speaking with a very old woman and what I assumed to be her old daughter. There was no youth there and I'll tell you how I knew. The very old woman sounded very old and was talking about diseases she thought she might have. The doctor was assuring her that all things considered, she wasn't doing badly. Then the younger old lady started talking. I wasn't TRYING to listen, but hell, I had nothing else to do.

When I really started to pay attention she was talking to him about ordering Canadian medications over the internet. She was saying how hard it can be to find places to order from. He said the same thing I was thinking, "It's not that hard. Just enter what you are looking for in a search engine like Yahoo, Google or...ummm...Alta Vista."

She replied with, "Oh I do! But it can all be so confusing! Who has time to learn it all?" I thought, kids and old people have the time. What's your problem? Just look at the time you are wasting talking to the doctor when you could be polishing up your net skillz, Leave already. My eye is drippy dammit.

Then she continued. And this made me smile. Mom, are you reading this? I hope so. "Oh but have you been to eBay? It's wonderful the things you can get there!" I just rolled my eyes (the squishy one dribbled a bit) and smiled in spite of myself. Mom, don't become this lady. You think we make fun of you now...

The doctor was muttering agreements, and any sane person would have realized they were not the center of this man's universe and there were other people waiting for his attention, but she just went on and on (much like this post) about the Yukon she won on eBay, "The man said he bought it for his daughter and she barely ever drove it because she didn't like the pedals because they were shaped funny and it only had fourteen thousand miles on it, but they are perfect for me and it's wonderful *breathe* and it's amazing the kinds of things you can find that people are selling," etc. until the end of time. I think some loony must have told her that he put a bomb in her and if she stops talking she will explode.

Finally the doctor escaped the gravitational pull of her open mouth and came in to see if I was going to also talk forever. And that is the final proof that there was no youth in that room. A younger doctor would have told her he was a busy man, and would she kindly fuck off toward the door. Good day.

Luckily, as much as I hate going to a doctor, I'm an easy patient. I don't want to be there any longer than they want me to be there. It may lead to a misdiagnosis that winds up killing me, but for now it's expedient.

He asked about my symptoms and checked all of my head orifices, which included some thumping, poking, peeking and popsicle sticks. He put the stick so far down my throat that I gagged. He apologized and said there was some white stuff on the side of my throat that sort of concerned him. We decided that it was the red beans & rice I had with lunch. I know. Made me feel queasy too.

He concluded that the problem with my eye was likely caused by a low grade infection and prescribed some eye drops that I am to take for five days, two drops, four times a day. And that was it, I was out of there. They had me pay my co-pay on the way out, which I thought was unusual. It might be so that if you die during treatment, it's on them. I'm not sure. So. $30 gone.

The only other kick in the ass that day was the dinky bottle of eye drops cost $40. On the paper they attach to the bag it was nice enough to let me know that "You insurance saved you $25.53! Ask us about low cost generic versions of this medication!" Assholes. How about you TELL me about low cost versions of this medication before I shell out the forty FREAKING dollars. I just hope they work and I don't have to go through this process again.

Still drippy after three doses. They burn and make me want to claw out my eye, so that must mean it's working, right? And I can now see a color that I didn't know existed before, so it's not all bad. I've decided to name it "Jingle" to mess with the Christmas songs.

And that's it. Thanks for reading. I'll let you all know if my eye falls out.

Friday, June 11, 2004

Storytelling Game Round 4

It's time to change it up! This round is very different than the rest. Participants will have from now until Tuesday at noon to complete their story. That's three days and some change. At the end of that time period everyone can vote for their one (1) favorite story (not their own).

If you are interested in joining or want to find out what makes this contest different, follow this link.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Round 3 is History

The words we needed to use were "Under, Marry, Kitten, Milk, Meat"

The Winner of round three was Jenn Schall with this interesting entry:
He reached under her and caressed her nipples between his fingers. His hands were gentle as they stroked and teased her, and she moaned softly at the pleasure it brought. He looked over at her big brown eyes, "you are a beautiful girl" he told her, as his hands moved about her body. She was almost there just a few more strokes, and he would be finished. He heard the kitten purring loudly now, as if it were begging for some milk, and then she was finished. She had given him all she had. "Damn cat you better not knock over the bucket again" he yelled. Then he picked up the bucket of milk, and turned to leave the barn. He could smell meat cooking on the grill, and knew he should hurry. He still couldn't believe today was the day he would marry the woman of his dreams.

2nd Place went to Derek Knight and myself. My story was long, so I'm only going to post Derek's. If you really want to read my story head over to the game page. Here's Derek's story:
"YOU WILL MARRY LORD BURTON" the father bellowed at his daughter, before forcing her head under the water once more. As she thrashed about, struggling against the sheer weight of his grasp, he calmly reflected on the many times that he had to intervene in her life, simply for her own good. Forcing her to marry a very successful, if not dashing, landowner was a minor event by comparison. "Any woman in the village would be overjoyed to simply serve as this man's housemaid," he thought to himself. This childish struggle against his will was baffling to say the least.

A commotion upriver brought his thoughts back to the present. As he turned, he saw a small kitten floating towards him, struggling against the current and mewing frantically. This lone feline was followed closely by a large burlap bag, bound securely at the top. The bag itself seemed to be pulsing and struggling against the river, fighting it's fate to the bitter end. The old man smiled a knowing smile. These were surely the cats that he had disposed of earlier in the day. How ironic that they would all met again in this manner, he mused.

After joyfully watching those horrid little animals drift off toward certain doom, he turned his attention back to the task at hand. It was now painfully obvious, however, that his daughter's thrashing had ceased. Her body was limp and her face was frozen in an expression of horrific torture. "Damn those cats," he thought. "NOW who can I marry off to Lord Burton?" Saddened by his error, he gathered his daughter's lifeless form in his burly arms and slowly carried her back to their modest dwelling. He laid her carefully on her bed, lovingly smoothed out her hair and clothing and slowly closed the lids of her beautiful blue eyes. Knowing that he would need strength for what lie ahead, he set about preparing himself a meal of boiled meat and goat's milk. Once his hunger was sufficiently suppressed, he set to the task of fashioning a very large burlap bag...

And the 3rd place award went to Tricia, the Demon Queen herself:
He makes his way through the kitchen; he had come through the back door in hopes of not making noise and waking her up.

As he passes, he sees the dinner she made for him last night. The meat and potatoes are stuck to the plate like they have been frozen in time.

He has an ominous feeling, a feeling of complete loneliness. He sees the baby’s bottle lying under the sofa. The milk inside has gone sour. He knows she must have left sometime during the night.

Probably right around the time that he was having his last drink at the bar.

It wasn’t his first ‘mistake’, sometimes when he went out with the guys he would meet a woman, nothing serious, just shoot pool or whatever, but by the time the booze got the best of him, he had no willpower to say no.

Then he would come slinking home and she would meet him, eyes filled with tears and a million accusations.

He half falls onto the couch, still reeling from the night before.
He picks up his little girl’s stuffed kitten and lays his cheek against it.
It has her sweet baby smell.

He hangs his head and lets the tears come.

She was the only woman he ever wanted to marry.
He can’t live without her.

I hope you can all be enticed to join us in the fourth round. I'll post here when it begins. If you are interested in joining please leave a comment so I can get an idea of when to start the round.

I'm Searching...

But I'm reeeeeeal lazy. Does anyone know of a product that features a flip top LCD screen and a keyboard that a person could carry around easily and type text documents into? Ideally it would have either a USB or firewire connection for hooking up to an OS independent computer so that you could later easily retrieve your files. Also it wouldn't cost over $50, wouldn't shatter if it fell 6 inches and ran on a rechargeable battery. And don't suggest a cell phone either. I need a screen that I can be able to see at least a paragraph at a time.

If nobody knows of anything I may have to decide if my desire to have it outweighs my desire to not look for it harder than this.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Important forum update!

Apparently, that's the problem. There are important daily updates that my forum provider does...umm...daily. It will say that it is unavailable until 2pm pacific. I don't think it's entirely accurate since I just went there and it is working. So if you get that message check back in ten minutes or so.

Also, for whatever reason when you go from page to page it won't automatically update so that you can view the new posts if you've already been to a page. I have no idea why. So you may need to hit reload on each page you go to. Stupid and irritating, YES! But free! If anyone knows of a way to stop this from happening, please share.

One last thing, the posting for round of stories has ended. Now it's time for voting. this time around you don't have to have written a story to vote. There are quite a few good ones, so please take some time to check them out. Here's a direct link to really make it easy:

Storytelling Game 3

I'll also include a direct link for game 4. Have a great day!

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

This was just sent to me... my friend Justin. No, not that Justin. A different Justin that I've known for at least 13 years. My son is also named Justin. It gets confusing. I'll just refer to this Justin as Carmical. Anyhow, he sent me a link to a band called Modest Mouse:

Modest Mouse

Their song "Float On" was pretty catchy, and the video was cool (although small; teenie tiny) but I need to hear more to determine if I really like them. If anyone who reads this has heard more of their music or has an opinion please comment.

Storytelling Game 3!

Okay, here they are. The same rules as last time, but this time you should write your stories in the forum. It's in the Open Games forum, so you don't have to be a member to play. The voting thing that I thought I might be able to use only allows for eight things to be voted on, so I'll still have to run that the same old way. Start your stories off with your initials and the number of the story, same as before.

Also, Derek pointed out that he may have been sabotaging himself by writing more than one story, but I feel that by allowing people to vote on four stories instead of just one that offsets any advantage lost by writing more than one.


Have fun!

(And yes, these words were chosen totally at random. Kitten being there is a coincidence.)

Monday, June 07, 2004

Would you look at that?!

Okay, it seems that the most popular thing I've added to this blog is the Storytelling game. I know that the comics and cards were much loved, but let's face it, the game is seriously less demanding on my creativity and time.

What's more, I have other game ideas as well! I know! It's freaking great! The only problem is they aren't games that work so well in a comments format.

So I was kicking around solutions for this problem and finally took the plunge. I added a forum to FnP. It is meant to augment the content that appears on this site, and not replace it. So no fear. I will still be posting the same great stuff I have been for years, it's just that some of it will carry over to the forum for added enjoyment.

Currently it is a sad, scrawny little skeleton of a forum. I have some boards set up, just waiting for posts, but as yet only have the welcoming post. It's such a lonely post.

Tomorrow I will be posting the third Storytelling game both here and at the forum on the Open Games board. I would like for you wonderful visitors to post your stories on the forum this time, rather than in the comments. This will allow many great new things, not the least of which is more than 1000 characters per story. I felt bad that so many people liked Derek's 2nd story, but couldn't vote on it since it got cut off. Well, not next time! This time if his story doesn't get votes it's because it sucks!

I also think that it might be possible to enable a voting system for the posts so it won't be a big pain in the butt. I'll check it out in the next 48 hours or so.

So, there you go. Right now the FnP forum is a pristine wall of blankness. Grab a couple cans of spray paint on your way over and have some fun.

No Cookie, Just a Fortune

Okay, I'm back at work and happy as a clam. Being baked.

The first thing I had to do, after catching up on a week's worth of email, was take a job a coworker started last week since she's on vacation this week.

She is, shall we say, organizationally challenged. The Photoshop files were a total mess, the wrong size, there was no Quark file and my boss wanted a printout "soon". Yet, as I was untangling the mess, I realized that I was actually enjoying it. It's like doing a puzzle. So it's not the work I do that I despise. Perhaps it's the stress of short deadlines.

Also, this morning about a half hour after I came in I noticed that someone had left this fortune cookie message on my keyboard:

All I can say is...ummm...okay. I can't argue with it. The good news is, as long as I can remain idle and foolish, I'm still on vacation! Sweet!

Sunday, June 06, 2004

Burning the 1 a.m. oil.

Hello all, this fine Sunday wee-early-hour morning. I can't sleep because I crashed earlier Saturday afternoon and slept the sleep of the just (heh). So I figured I would take some time and update my links to include a few more of the interesting places that I like to visit from time to time. I tried this earlier in the week and just when I had finished it up Safari crashed and I lost it all. This time I got smart and did it all in TextEdit. Wee, look at my smartness! It oozes!

It is going to be VERY hard to go back to work on Monday. I was just beginning to enjoy being a lazy bum around the house. Oh well, all good things must etc.

What's going to be the most difficult on Monday (as far as I know) is waking up. I'm a night person by nature and if I'm allowed to I gravitate to that schedule. So now I'm used to being up until 3 am and sleeping until 11 am. or whenever. My daughter is the same way. It's 1 am and she's still fighting the sandman. Even with a promise of a trip to the swimming pool tomorrow. Stubborn little monkey.

I thought there was something else that I wanted to tell everyone, but I can't think of what it was.

So I guess that's it. Nothing terribly exciting, but hey! This is as fun as I get!

Friday, June 04, 2004

The results are in! Fresh off the interwebthingie!

Okay, I put off lunch for a few minutes. I must love you guys. Here are the results in cut-n-paste order. Heather managed to end Derek's evil one week reign, and isn't that always the way. You can't trust siblings. However Justin pulled in a close second which just goes to show: Don't underestimate the power of porn!

HB1: 8 pts.
Synopsis: It's bad luck for the bride to see the bride on her wedding day.

JK1: 6 pts.
Synopsis: Soft core porn isn't made, it just happens.

DK1: 5 pts.
Synopsis: American Pie 4- That shit stops NOW!

TW1: 5 pts.
Synopsis: Childhood memories of unhappy things.

CB1: 5 pts.
Synopsis: Get the hell out of my house already, beYOTCH!

DK3: 5 pts.
Synopsis: A court case that is a bit too revealing.

JK2: 4 pts.
Synopsis: Kahnrad was pwn3d!

JS1: 3 pts.
Synopsis: A loving tale of sweet, chain-wrapped revenge under the big oak tree.

JS2: 3 pts.
Synopsis: A three-hour toooour...a three-hour toooour...

SR1: 3 pts.
Synopsis: I'm not quite sure but it reads like poetry.

jack1: 3 pts.
Synopsis: Puppy love.

I hope you will all join me next week for another round of storytelling, and bring some friends. The mo', the mo' betta. I'm off to enjoy my last official day of vacation and get some eats. I'm hungry!

Thursday, June 03, 2004

It's time to cast your vote(s)!

Word List was:

The stories in the order presented, with a one line synopsis.

JS1: 2 pts.
Synopsis: A loving tale of sweet, chain-wrapped revenge under the big oak tree.

DK1: 2 pts.
Synopsis: American Pie 4- That shit stops NOW!

TW1: 2 pts.
Synopsis: Childhood memories of unhappy things.

JS2: 2 pts.
Synopsis: A three-hour toooour...a three-hour toooour...

HB1: 2 pts.
Synopsis: It's bad luck for the bride to see the bride on her wedding day.

SR1: 2pts.
Synopsis: I'm not quite sure but it reads like poetry.

jack1: 2 pts.
Synopsis: Puppy love.

JK1: 2 pts.
Synopsis: Soft core porn isn't made, it just happens.

CB1: 2 pts.
Synopsis: Get the hell out of my house already, beYOTCH!

JK2: 2 pts.
Synopsis: Kahnrad was pwn3d!

DK2: too wordy, gets the axe. *chunk*

DK3: 2 pts.
Synopsis: A court case that is a bit too revealing.

24 Hours for voting, up to four stories for each voter. Also, I forgot to mention this in the rules revision but we talked about it Friday night and the voting should be kept to the people who posted stories from now on. The reason being there is no registration required to comment, and it would be easy (but quite silly) to pad the vote. But I do hope that people who didn't write a story did enjoy reading all of them, and perhaps this will encourage them to write next time.

Thanks for playing and let the voting begin!

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

*dingding* Round Two

Let's try some rule changes for this one.

x1: You are allowed to write more than one story.
x2: If you use all 5 words in a story it gets 2 points, if you don't it starts off with 0 points.
x3: Label each story you write at the beginning with your initials and the number story it is, for example: CB1, DK3, HB53.
x4: When it's time to vote you can choose up to 4 stories by saying something like, "I vote for HB2, DK1, DK3, JS2."
x5: You still can't vote for yourself, but you can vote for more than one story by the same person. Just not the same story more than once.

If we somehow get a huge amount of stories this time, we may limit the total number next time to two or three, but for now it's wide open.

Good luck, and may the best arrangement of letters win.

Here are the words for this round:


Tuesday, June 01, 2004

My brain is in the cupboard

"Hi. I'm on vacation right now, but if you leave your name and number at the beep I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

Actually, I really needed this vacation. I'm not going anywhere or doing anything of importance. That's pretty much the way all of my vacations have been since I got out of the Air Force. I use them to try to unwind and recharge so that I can make it to my next vacation.

Derek gives me crap about it, saying that I really need to go somewhere or do something. Like Las Vegas. Or England. Or anywhere but here. The problem with that is I'm a bit of an obsessive person and when I travel I constantly worry about what may go wrong. Not just wondering if the plane will crash. More like wondering what I will do if I miss the plane, or something's wrong with the reservation, or I lose my luggage, or my kids, etc. ad nauseam. I will be wound as tight as a watch (explain THAT to a kid these days, "Wind a watch? Are you high?") for several days before the vacation began until I got home, assuming I got home. So he calls my do nothing, recharging vacations a "Collin vacation." What can I say? They usually work for me and they don't break my wallet.

I say "usually" because this time it doesn't seem to be working. Technically, this was the first day of the vacation, even though it's the fourth day I've been away from work. I have been able to take my kids to the park to play every day so far, and we went to see 'Shrek 2' today, which was a fun movie.

But tonight my son asked me if I was happy. He said that it seems like I'm never happy and I'm never smiling and it makes him depressed. I really didn't know what to say at first. I'm not happy. However, I told him that he shouldn't worry about me. I have a lot of things on my mind these days but it won't always be like this. then we played "roll the big ball around the living room like lunatics"®™∞ with Jordyn and we were all laughing by the end of it.

So, I don't know. We'll see how it goes as the week rolls on. I have five words that I'll be posting tomorrow morning-ish, for anyone interested in playing another round of storytelling. Shall we keep it to one story per person, or shall we allow people to post as many as they want and vote on the best one?

Oh yeah, one thing that did make me smile this morning. One of the local ambulance chasers had a commercial on where the person he "helped" win big cash and prizes led off with the following: "I got injured on the job laying pipe." Hehehe. I know for a fact that I could not have served on that jury.

"Boring a hole in the patient’s head creates a door through which the demons can escape, and - viola! - out goes the crazy."