Wednesday, January 28, 2009


I was too busy on Friday to post, and on Saturday night my daughter had to go to the emergency room. There she was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. She was really close to dying. She didn't get out of the hospital until yesterday afternoon. We have a lot to learn, but she's doing much better now. I expect to be very busy until we get a routine developed, so posting will be sporadic if at all. And that's it. No funny for now.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Songs, magical songs

I woke up with a song I don't like stuck in my head and it won't go away. So, as long as it's here I might as well make fun of it.

"Wake Up Little Susie" by The Everly Brothers.

This is what Wikipedia has about the song's premise:

The song is written from the point of view of a high school boy to his girlfriend, Susie. In the song, the two go out on a date to a drive-in movie theater, only to fall asleep during the movie. They do not wake up until 4 o'clock in the morning. They then contemplate the reactions of her parents and their friends.

Although banned in such places as Boston, the song does not state that Susie and her boyfriend had sexual relations. Indeed, it strongly implies that they did not: the couple simply fell asleep because they were bored by the film.

This song was released in 1957. Here are the key lyrics, my thoughts in red:

"Wake up, little Susie, wake up
"We’ve both been sound asleep, wake up, little Susie, and weep
"The movie’s over, it’s four o’clock, and we’re in trouble deep "

What drive-in is unmanned in the 50s? Nobody noticed a car just sitting there and thought to check it out before 4 in the morning, at a movie that was supposed to be over before 10 the previous night*? Until reading that, I'd always assumed they fell asleep in the boy's house watching a movie on TV. It makes more sense, but only barely. Also, nice touch telling her to wake up and cry already.

"I told your mama that you’d be in by ten
"Well Susie baby looks like we goofed again"

*Yeah, I got ahead of the song there, but see? She was supposed to be in by 10. Also, they goofed AGAIN? Kid, if this is becoming a habit, why start worrying now? You didn't learn anything the first dozen or so times and you managed to live past them. Is this the time where her mama is going to end you with a rolling pin?

"The movie wasn’t so hot, it didn’t have much of a plot
"We fell asleep, our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot "

"Our" reputation? Let's see.. HER reputation is probably shot, what with acting a slut and all, but you're gold playah. Although, all this concern of yours about "our" reputation... hmmm...

"Whatta we gonna tell your mama
"Whatta we gonna tell your pa
"Whatta we gonna tell our friends when they say “ooh-la-la” "

Tell them he's gay. 'Out' his ass. It's obvious really. He took you to a drive-in movie and you both fell asleep for over six hours and didn't fool around at all. He wakes up and is panicking like a bitch. He's gay and you're his beard. Tell your mama and pa that he's a boy you feel comfortable with, you spend hours doing each other's hair and gossiping about which jocks at school are cute. That'll shut them up. Sure, being outed in the 50s isn't an optimal thing for him, but at least it puts the reputation ball back in your court, Susie. Ask yourself, "Do I want to be called a slut?" And remember how panicked and whiney he was when you were trying to catch some z's. Is this a guy you want to ruin your reputation for? As for your friends, shit, they're gay too. "Ooh-la-la" indeed.

No doodle today. I'm out of time and really not feeling up for it right now.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

More randomness than you can shake a whale at.

Why a whale? Because it's big and your arms would get tired after one or two shakes, because, honestly, there's not much to this post today. I figure that I'm feeling a bit run down and was reasonably entertaining yesterday, so eh.
The other day my daughter was trying to keep our dog's toy football away from him. Apparently – I was at work at the time, so this is all second hand – he knocked her to the ground and took it from her. Her response: "I've been vanquished."
I plan to once again take part in the utter crap-shoot that is the Woot T-Shirt Derby this week. Not because I think I've gotten any better since I last took part in it. I haven't, especially on deadline designs. No. It's because now the reward for having one of the top three shirts for the week is up to $1000, and $2 per shirt that sells after the first day. I lucked into a spot once before, perhaps I can again. So, barring illness, this Thursday after they announce the next theme, I'm going to get my happy ass designing.
Over at Redneck Diva's home she had been talking about a recent visit to the dentist. Both my kiddos just had an check up on Monday and they are all kinds of messed up. The girl managed to swing four cavities, although two were on the teeth touching her spacer so they were expected. "Expected" doesn't mean "free to fix" though. Naturally. I should also mention that she got a huge bag of all kinds of candy from her BFF for her birthday, and now she can't eat it. At least not as fast as she would like. The boy has cavities on his incoming wisdom teeth, so they are going to need to be pulled. Fun times. Anyhow, over at Diva's I commented on how we need little birds like alligators have that would sit in our mouths and clean our teeth. Or is it crocodiles? Either way, we need those birds. It would also be nice if they were mint flavored so you could suck on them when they were done, then spit them out and have all kinds of fresh breath. So, get to work on that God. And since birds might not be workable, even with divine direction, my fallback idea is nanobots. Mint flavored nanobots. Get to work on that science. It's a race!
"Out of left field." Why? Specifically, why left field? I realize it's probably a baseball related saying, and I know as little as I can manage about baseball, but does stuff traditionally come unexpectedly from left field? As traditionally as something unexpected can be, of course. Aren't there more unexpected places for things to come from in a baseball stadium? "Jesus! That came totally from the hot dog vendor!" I suppose I could research it, but as I've said here before, no.
We have another podcast. In it I say, maybe, three words. Five at the most. Unless Derek dubbed some more in without telling me. Click to listen.

M. Dung Baby! Awayy!
That's long enough. Here's the next stage in the first SloMo Design:

What the hell? I don't know. I really don't.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

What a politicelicous day!

Not this post though. This post is almost 100% politics free, however it could contain trace amounts of peanuts. If while reading this you experience shortness of breath and a swelling in your throat, or you have a history of peanut related allergies, stop reading immediately and consult a physician. You're dying! Hurry!

I used to have horrible allergies when I was a kid. It was first misdiagnosed as asthma by some officer tard at the Peterson Air Force Base Medical Center when I was – wait for it... – nine. So for a long time I was the dweebie kid with an inhaler and a fear of physical activity that I'd been told could lead to a thrashing-on-the-floor-clutching-at-my-throat, gaspy death. Fucking inhaler. I hated that thing.

Many years later when I was 14 and living with my dad in Pueblo, I went in for my first and only allergy test. I don't know if it's still done this way, but as I recall at the time they had a rack of needles that were each coated with some form of evil that was poked into your back, it was covered with a sheet of paper or something and then they sat back and watched what happened. Half my frickin' back blew up. When the doctor lifted the sheet he did that sharp inhalation of breath like "hsst..." and said, "Oh my." The biggest bumps were cats and politics, and there were about six other lesser bumps that were pulsing for attention. None of the allergies were peanuts of course. That's not one that creeps up on you, especially if half your diet up to that point was peanut butter in one form or another; Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, peanut butter infused Carnation Instant Breakfast Bars (back when they were good), peanut butter sandwiches, peanut butter cookies, peanut butter on a spoon, etc. What can I say? I'm a fan.

Over the last 26 years most of my allergies have abated somewhat. I'm still pretty allergic to cats, but not all cats, and if I can avoid touching my face after handling a cat I can usually manage to not run screaming to the bathroom in search of water. It's a huge step up from where walking into a room with a cat would make my face turn red and cause me to try to claw my brain out through my eyes out for the blessed release that death might bring. I'm still not on board with owning a cat though, which wouldn't be a problem except both Heather and my daughter would love to have one. My daughter helpfully points out that there is medicine I can buy that would help me be less lame regarding cats. My problem with that theory is, if I don't have the medicine handy, I would have to leave the house naked (because when you have a cat the hair gets everywhere), hose myself off in the back yard and then hope somebody gets me more medicine. Plus there's the fear that it will one day decide that I must die and sit on my face while I'm sleeping and nobody is watching.

Well, that's pretty much all the time I have for posting today. I hope it was more fun than the last several have been. Here's the current SloMo Doodle:

It just felt like a balloon kinda day.

Monday, January 19, 2009

I wish it was Sunday.

'Cause that's my fun day. My "sit around playing Fable 2 for half the damned day" day. But no, it's time for another Monday. My apologies to The Bangles.

I'm trying to hold at bay some kind of head sickness that involves sinus pain and a horrible pain back behind the right side of my jaw, just below my ear. Thanks to the new "health plan" that I went with this year – a high deductible with a Heath Savings Plan – and the likelihood that I'm going to take a 7.5% pay cut on top of the 25% cut I took last August – assuming my job doesn't just go away entirely– I'm going to have to ride this fucker out, wherever it takes me. The good news is the pain that I had behind my jaw has lessened to a dull ache from the stabbing, drop-me-to-my-knees pain that I had whenever I opened my mouth wide or put any pressure on my right molars yesterday. I'm thinking it was caused by drainage from my ear since there wasn't any swelling as far as I could tell. I also recall this happening before and that was the diagnosis then. The bad news is the sinus pain started this morning, accompanied by a bit of dizziness. Anyhow, here's hoping this is the worst of it.

Enough of that.

I'll hopefully be writing again tomorrow, and with luck have something worth writing about. Here's the doodle

And Trashman, thanks for putting thoughts of a "deformed nipple" in my mind. Still no plan of direction for this one.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Friday Fun!

Well, not fun really. But it is Friday. That's gotta be worth something.

My wee girl turns 9-years-old on Sunday, and we're having a small party for her tomorrow afternoon. So she's pretty stoked about that. Her mother bought 24 cupcakes for her to take to school and share with classmates today. Justin was unaware of this plan, what with spending most of his time yesterday in the basement studying some horribly complex computer related course that he purchased with his Christmas Barnes & Nobel gift cards. After dinner he said, "Ooh! Can I have a cupcake?" and was instantly told "No!" by everyone else in the house. I think even the dog said no. At the very least he wuffed. Poor guy. You would have thought by our reaction that he'd asked if he could eat a baby.

Also, an update on the unfortunate rhyme incident I wrote about last week. There have been two suggestions so far that would have been better received by my dearest than "peckerwood" was. The first was from Conqueress who offered "Pretty good - as I should!," and the second is from Heather's friend Shannon; "Pretty good, Hollywood!" Both of which further illustrate that I'm a moron, and should probably have a court order prohibiting me from attempting rhyme.

I'm feeling a bit ill today, so after this post I think I'm going to lie down for awhile. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Here is today's SloMo Doodle:

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Oh happy responsibilities!

So, I'm one of three new memmbers on our Homeowners' Association Board. I've never been a political person, so this should be interesting. It's a three year term. Hopefully I do more good than harm. I've already had one lobbyist which was kinda interesting.

It's looking to be a busy day at work, and as far as I know it's still my short day, so I've got to cram eight hours of work into six. I'll should get started as soon as I'm done posting.

That said, since I have nothing wondrous to impart, I'll move along to the SloMo Doodle:

If you want to see the doodle in an earlier state, scroll back through the posts. When this doodle is done I might turn it into a stop motion style animation and post it. Or, I suppose if you wanted to, you could load each image into its own tab and then quickly cycle through them, flip-book style. Also, at this point I have no idea how many days I'll drag out a doodle. New is fun!

And tomorrow is tomorrow, which is when I'll post again.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The week is only half over.


One thing that might help your Wednesday along; Derek has posted the first of the three Son of Cheese Half-Hour Power Hour podcasts that we recorded last Saturday. In it "we" interview a famed star of such epics as "Elves" and "The Talking Dogs Spoof Spot," Chris Graham! I say "we" because if you've ever listened to the podcast, you'll know that I really don't say much. Still, it was a fun time and I hope he joins us again someday.

I notice there's no photo of him at his IMDB page. We might need to fix that.

Click here to listen to the fun:

We interview major fucking star Chris Graham

On to other things.

A long time back Heather tried to get me involved in MySpace. I stuck with it for a bit. A little bit. It just wasn't for me. I'm not sure why. My page is still there though.

Now I'm slowly getting drawn into Facebook. If you would like to add me as a friend/contact/conspirator, just click here and do that voodoo that they make you do. Plus, I've been told that it's where all the cool kids go. You want to be cool, don't you? Of course you do! Next, let's try smoking!

You know those kinds of posts that are basically only links to stuff that someone else has found/made? The type that is one tiny step up from a post that says I don't have anything to talk about today? Since this has already been that kind of post, I may as well link to a story that appeared on BoingBoing a few days ago:

That's right, this is that bb story

Apparently there is a mysterious "roar" in outer space.

"Alan Kogut of NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center says he and his colleagues have discovered a mysterious "booming noise" coming from space that's six times more powerful than all other space radio sources combined."

As interesting as the story is, what I really liked were a few of the comments. My favorites being:

#15: It's the 20's
#16: "Beware, I live!"
and #45: "It's coming from inside the solar system, get out now!"

So, what do you think about the "booming noise"? Is God beat-boxing in the shower? Is it a galaxy of ravers? Does it really matter since a supervolcano is going to blow us all to hell any day now? Tell me what you think.

And the last thing for today, I've decided to start an on-line art project. I've done these kinds of things in the past, but not like this. This is going to be a slow motion doodle. I'm starting with a circle (of sorts) and each day I'll add something to it. At this point I have no idea where it's going to go. Hopefully it'll be fun. Here's the first bit (click it to make it bigger):

I'll be back to write at you more tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Lunchtime on a busy Tuesday afternoon

It's lunchtime. Today that means soup and crackers. Yesterday it was soup, crackers and a sandwich. Tomorrow it'll probably be crackers.

Speaking of tomorrow, tomorrow night is our home owner's association's monthly meeting, and this month it's time to elect three new board members. This year I was talked into running, although my feelings about it are mixed at best. On the one hand I hate politics. On the other hand... Hm. Anyway. Come Wednesday night I might a have a new, non-paying job that will suck up a silly chunk of my already sparse free time! At least that's what I put on the posters throughout the neighborhood. Am I a political machine or what? Just kidding. I didn't campaign at all.

On to a bit a meme stuff to fill up space and possibly entertain. A few days back Heather took part in a meme-quest that she inherited from her blog-friend Kathleen that required her to post 10 things that she loved that start with an assigned letter. Heather's letter was 'D'. The letter she has given me is 'B'. I'm not going to be as fancy as Heather, linking to pictures and whatnot, since my lunch is half over and I haven't even thought about this list yet. As you shall soon see.

So, the rest of this post is being brought to you by the letter B...

1: Board Games - Almost any games, really, but board games are in there. Not Monopoly though. That one can go to hell.

2: Ummm... B? Really? Hm. Boston Creme donuts - I almost never eat donuts anymore, but if the situation arises and donuts need eating, these are the first I go for.

3: Beef Stew - This is probably seperating "love" from its friends, leading it down a side street followed by a dark alley and beating it until it's unrecognizable, but beef stew is what I'm eating right now and it's pretty tasty. And starts with B. On we go!

4: Brevity - I hate to ramble on and on and on and ON and on and onnnn and on and on and on and on and ONNN and on and on and... yet I always seem to. Brevity in others is pretty sweet too.

5: Bouncing Superballs - in an empty, near windowless room with another person, trying not to get hit. I haven't done it since I was nine, but it was a blast. You take turns throwing the ball as hard as you can against any surface you want and then duck and weave while it goes ballistic.

6: Halfway there, and I was out of good ideas somewhere around "Board Games." Too bad it's not things I hate... Let's see. Well, Boobs are quite a wonderful thing, and I love them far more than anything else on the list so far. All kinds of boobs really. Except man-boobs. Yes, I was bottle fed. Your point?

7: Bowie, David - For such and odd fellow, he sure can sing.

8: Best of Bootie - Music for schizophrenics, or people who really like their music mixed up in all kinds of fun ways.

9: Bumper Stickers - Even when I owned my car, I didn't put bumper stickers on it. I don't like them on my car. I love them on other people's cars. Especially when I come across a car festooned with all kinds of crazy. Like so many that there's even a bumper sticker wrapped around the tail pipe and a four inch square of empty space left in the back window to see through. I'm constantly tempted to hang around the parking lot until the owner of a well decorated car comes out just so I can see what he or she looks like. Bumper stickers might be a truer window into a persons soul than their eyes ever are.

10: annnnnd here I am at the end. I was originally going to save boobs for this position but I panicked. Instead I'll put Brains here. Besides, I love these more than anything else on this list, yes even boobs and bumper stickers. Not just for the zombie angle, as some of you who know me are probably thinking. No, I love brains because stupid people drive me nuts. NUTS!

I'm outta time and although I'm not happy with the list it's going to have to do.

Catch you tomorrow.

Monday, January 12, 2009

What a freakin' bleak day.

Matches my mood almost to a T.

It's a-snowin', the wind's a-blowin' and I nearly slid into a curb getting in to work. Missed it by less than a foot, nearly head on trying to make a turn. Before that I had barely made it up the slight hill on a parallel street to the one that's a monster hill I normally drive up. Not enough traction today. No telling what it's going to be like trying to get home tonight. What a fucking day. But I've already said that.

Getting back into the swing of posting is nothing at all like riding a bicycle. Just thought I would toss that out there. I have no analogy for what it IS like. It damned sure isn't easy though.

Yesterday Heather and I went to Denver to see the musical version of 'The Color Purple'; a Christmas gift from her aunt and uncle. It was the second professional musical that I've ever seen performed live; the first being 'Mama Mia' while Heather and I were in Las Vegas last June.

It was surprisingly good. I wasn't sure how they would manage to turn that story into a musical, but all-in-all it was fun. Some really good songs and excellent performances. The show was sold out. Too many people. I'm sure Heather will post more details over at her site.

The only part of the experience that I didn't like was driving there, parking, and then trying to get the hell out afterward. If we go to another play there I'm going to see what it'll take to park away from the crazy and use the light rail to get into the thick of it. I would be willing to go to a play here in Colorado Springs, but we lack culture. Still, there may be something to do locally. I'll look into it.

A huge "hello" to Trashman! It's great to know that you're there still reading after all this time. I haven't forgotten the Zombie Pimp and Ho's drawing, and may even get to it this week now that I'm actually in the habit of drawing... somewhat. More than I am in the habit of blogging. Not to get your hopes up or anything. I will try to get it done.

Any other readers from the past still reading?

Have a great week, whoever and wherever you may be. I'll be back again tomorrow.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Would you look at the time?

So. Here it is Friday night, near midnight, and I still haven't posted. I'm not even sure at this point if I'll make it before the clock ticks over and it's Saturday. I also have no idea what to write about. The layoffs are still weighing heavily on my mind, and it's hard to think of much else.

Still, I would hate to fail in my resolution after only three days.

I'm trying to create a couple of new designs to submit to SplitReason between bouts of panic, however it's not going very well. Still, I do have one idea that I think could be solid. I just need to take the time to get it done. Some days I feel amazed that I've ever managed to create anything worth a damn.

Enough of that.

Tomorrow noon-ish, Heather and I are heading over to Derek's house to record some new podcasts. When they post I'll link to them. Chris G., if by some miracle you happen to be reading this, I was supposed to tell you on Thursday when I got back from lunch that we would still be doing "the pod" and you need to show up for your interview. I was so busy trying to get ads and posters finished before I left that I forgot, and currently I still don't work on Friday. So... show up.

Could this post be any more boring? Should I talk about dinner? Bah. This is part of why I stopped blogging in the first place. If even I am not interested in what I'm writing, why the fuck would I think that anyone else would be. On the other hand, occasionally I come up with something funny/worthwhile, and if I didn't push myself to write something every day I never would.

So on I'll go.

Have a great weekend, and I'll post again on Monday. Hopefully something better than this.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

The economy sucks. Hard.

Hey, look at that! I'm posting for the second day in a row! Now what to write about? Lemme think... (looking at title) Sure. Why the fuck not?

I hadn't planned on writing about the economy, that was a joke yesterday, and way back when I found out that my site was read by the owner of the company I work for I swore off writing about work. However, yesterday afternoon the two collided. Work and the economy.

It's something I've been expecting. We are in a recession, the automotive industry is in trouble, and the sole means of my company's income (that I'm aware of) is the automotive industry. 1+1 nearly always =2. I've been worried ever since I took a 25% pay and hour cut back in August and nothing in the following four months happened to rosy up that picture.

Being who I am, self-centered and paranoid as a person with really long interlocking sleeves and no shoelaces, I was certain that when the ax fell, it would fall on me. Dead-fucking-certain.

I was wrong. Or at least off by a month or so. Time will tell.

Instead a few of the people I liked best in this place suffered "career displacement," one of whom I've been working with for at least 14 years and consider one of the best friends that I've ever had. It was a shitty thing to happen, and I'm pretty sure that certain animosities and friction led to his selection.

I'm not going to name any names. The people who know us know who is involved, all the details, etc. I'm also still stunned. I feel like I haven't slept. Everything has an unreal quality.

It was hard coming in to work today. I imagine it's only going to get harder. But I'm a pessimist like that. At least if the ship's sinking, some of my friends got out while there were still some life boats left.

I will say that I expect before this is over there will be another culling of the staff, and I have suspicions that they are considering eventually outsourcing the entire art department. That thought's based on something said at the meeting after the slaughter and my aforementioned paranoia and pessimism.

Enough of that. I don't know what else to say. I'm not exactly thinking the clearest right now. I fervently hope that everyone axed yesterday is able to move on to far better, happier, more satisfying things than this place has offered. I'll likely be joining you before long.

I'll try to post something more upbeat tomorrow.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

New year, new start

Hello to anybody reading this. If you've stuck around all this time, waiting quietly for me to blog again, congratulations! The wait has paid off! Don't you wish you spent that time playing the lottery instead? Of course you do! Because right this moment you could be raking in the dough! Instead, here's a post.


So. New year. All shiny and stuff. Not yet horrible. Closing in on the 10's. My past attempts at blogging at my "website", amounted to "f"-all, so I'm back and ready to go, chock full of stories and fun for days without end! No freaking END I tells ya!


Speaking of stories and fun, the other night I asked my fiancé how she was doing. She replied with, "Peachy keen, jellybean! How about you?" Since she had already established the rhyming form of answer, I stupidly attempted to continue it. UNfortunately my brain is poorly and I came back with, "Pretty good..."

It was at this point that I realized where my brain was going. Nowhere safe or smart, but like a train wreck it was far too late to stop it. All I could do was sit back and watch as my lips moved. At least it was gonna rhyme. "... peckerwood!"

Her eyes got big and her mouth opened in shock. My eyes got big and I started laughing in an attempt to defuse the moment. I explained that I hadn't meant anything by it. I just wanted to rhyme, and I was unprepared. And you know me; I'm stupid. But it was funny!

As I sit here writing this I still can't think of a better rhyme with "Pretty good." I guess I'll leave the rhyming to the rappers.

Tune in tomorrow for another post full of something! I don't know what, but it'll be here. It's a new year and I'll find something to talk about! Maybe the economy! Oooooooo! I'll bet the thought of that has you just begging for tomorrow to hurry up and come already. Well, sorry, you'll just have to wait.
"Boring a hole in the patient’s head creates a door through which the demons can escape, and - viola! - out goes the crazy."