Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Half-Assed Comics

I know this is on the edge of suck, but I figure if I don't worry about image quality I can get more done. Then I will get better over time. I hope. That's the plan anyway. I'm probably going to experiment with other styles as well. Time will tell.

For a clearer version of these when I post them, right click on the image, choose 'open in new window', then change the "M" at the end of the URL to an "L". Hit enter. Enjoy, if that's the right word.


The other day, while coming home from work I noticed a few tiny pieces of paper at the corner of the sidewalk in front of my apartment. Lately, due to our new neighbors, that area has been getting pretty trashy with cigarette butts, aluminum cans, fast food wrappers and other crap. Not as bad as some of the stuff people toss in Mark's yard, but nastier than it needs to be.

This new bit-o-garbage did not appear especially interesting at first, however as I was walking by I noticed tiny writing on one piece, so I went back to take a closer look. One had a name written on it, and one was blank. Here is the third, front and back (the nickel is to show size):

I picture a future of cops and tears.

(edited 02.23.04 - 4:05pm)

Monday, February 23, 2004

Quick post

I found this with this to go with it at Boing Boing.

for those who like strange things.

The shame

Okay, I'm a worthless, lying, punk bastard. There is no pic of the week today. I spent the entire weekend either watching movies or playing games with my son and daughter. At 7-ish on Sunday night I grabbed my sketchbook and sat down to draw.

See, here's the thing. Derek can sketch anything at any time without any problem. It's a habit he got into at a young age. I can't. Or at least I don't feel like I can, which amounts to the same thing. The way I work is, if I don't already have something in mind, I sketch something at random and if I like how it looks I go from there.

I started one sketch that was turning out pretty decent, but then I messed up on a key part of it, didn't have an eraser handy, so I flipped the page and started something different. That one I didn't mess up on, I just didn't like the direction it was going. It looked a bit like GIR from 'Invader Zim', and I knew that at least one of my many readers would comment on the similarity. So I said, "Screw this." to myself and spent the remainder of the evening playing 'R•Type Final' with my son.

So, I figure I should shoot for a more realistic goal. At least once a week (Monday through Sunday) I will post a picture of some kind. It may be a photo, it may be a sketch, or it may be a finished illustration. But it will be something. And if I can stick to that I will build from there.

On the plus side, one of the movies I watched this weekend was a DVD I got for my birthday called 'American Splendor'. Excellent movie. It ranks high enough that it would be one of the last DVDs I'll willingly part with. You should check it out, although I can't guarantee you'll enjoy it as much as I did.

I also tried to watch 'Lost in Translation' this weekend. I say "try" because at the layer change my DVD player decided to develop attention deficit disorder. If it wasn't breaking up into fragments it was skipping ahead. So, that sucks. It was a good film up until then.

Friday, February 20, 2004


I'm sitting here looking at my right thumb and I realize I've missed a great opportunity. The day before last Halloween I slammed my thumb in my car door while getting out. I don't know how I did it, and I doubt I could recreate the incident if I tried.

The nail turned black at the base, but did not fall off. The blackness eventually receded into a kind of air bubble at the base of the nail, and has been traveling toward the tip ever since.

Now that it's just its own width from the tip I realized that I should have been taking a picture of it once or twice a month as it progressed on its journey. I'll grant you, it's not the Lord of the Rings, but it could have been interesting.

I could have used it to chart how quickly my thumbnail grows, which is something that every good American should know about themselves. You never know when you might need that information in court.

If I ever do injure myself in a non-lethal, non-blinding way again, I'll try to remember to document it for posterity.

Pic of the week

Okay Mark, at your request here's an illustration of mine. It's not new, just a recombination of older work. I'll make something new this weekend to post on Monday, and see if I can keep that going as a steady feature. And just because I did this for you, don't let it go to your head. You still can't make me eat a bug.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Fizzles - Things that make my brain sad.

This is where I'll be putting things that I didn't really care for.

As I stated earlier, I'm a rabid animation buff. At least a third of my DVD collection consists of animation titles. This includes Anime as well as more traditional stuff.

Recently, I purchased the complete 'Dilbert' collection. I had seen a few episodes of the Dilbert cartoon back when it was still running on TV, but never could condition myself to view it regularly. I always have that problem with TV shows. It's a good thing I'm not relied on to determine programming.

I liked what I had seen on those few occasions I caught the show, and I liked the comic strip it's based on. The entire run of the series, 30 episodes, was released as a 4-disc set. After finishing the series I could see why the it was cancelled. Over the whole thing there were maybe five or six that I recall really enjoying. Or even really recall. And the final two episodes were run as one of the lamest two part stories I've ever seen. It made the angels cry tears of blood. Okay, perhaps not, but it was bad. Instead of going out with a bang, it was like they decided to go out with a "What the ???" It may have even managed to kill my love for the comic strip.

It sells new at this time for around $36. If you can find it for around $15, I would say it's worth getting. As long as you avoid watching the last two episodes.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Pops - Things that make my brain happy!

Until I decide on something better to call this, under this heading is where I'm going to post the things that I've recently enjoyed. There will be no set schedule for when I will be presenting this "feature".

The Triplets of Belleville (Rotten Tomatoes page / Home Site) - If this is still playing in your area, or it's out on DVD by the time you read this, and you enjoy fantastic hand drawn animation, you really should check it out.

Both of the linked sites have different clips that will give you an idea what you are in for. The animation is French, and a good portion of the dialog is in French, un-subtitled. Fortunately the sound effects are in English and the story isn't dialog driven, so you can usually tell what is going on even if you don't speak a lick of French. (French lick...hmmmm...mind wandering...get...back...on TRACK)

It's only 80 minutes long, however for me that felt just about right. However the pacing is a bit slow at times and if you are impatient you may not get the same level of enjoyment from it as I did. The times when it was feeling slow I just tried to take in the massive amount of detail that went into the animation. However, I'm an animation geek. I do things like that. Also, my ten-year-old son stayed awake through the whole thing, so it couldn't be that slow.

This is one that I will be adding to my collection as soon as it comes out. Highly recommend.

For another, more cohesive and intelligent review, go here.

In my preemptive defense...

...he deserved it. At some point in the next few days Derek is going to post HIS version of how I shot him in the eye with a rubber band around five years ago. Well, okay, both eyes. One right after the other. And yes, I laughed. You would have laughed too, if you had been there.

Anyhow, I'm sure that he will provide plenty of details based on his skewed perspective at his blog when he feels the time is right. I'll provide my rebuttal in his comments after I've read what he has written, and I am confident that I will be found innocent of all wrongdoing. His paper thin lies won't stand up against the mighty winds of truth!

He deserved it.

Slow to post

Okay, I've heard the people muttering about how slow I am to post. All both of you. I feel that I need to explain myself, to both of you, in an attempt to justify my laziness, because above all, I'm a man of the people. Since you've been muttering. You muttering bastards. For the hell of it, I'll use a recipe format. Wheeee!

For a delightful portion of Fizzle & Pop you will need the following:

1/2 cup of laziness.
3 tbs of only really on my computer at work.
2 qts of when I'm at home I'm usually taking care of kids instead of thinking of funny stuff.
1/4 lb of lack of inspiration, most of the time.
3 ts of personal artwork, eventually. Really. Time me.
1/2 hectare of reviews, or something I can do regularly-ish.

Preheat oven to 225 degrees for 30 minutes or so. Mix all ingredients in a huge black pot. Add a pinch of an occasional good idea, allowing it to float on the surface to drift wherever it may. Cram the entire pot into the oven. If the pot doesn't fit, you messed up and will have to start over. Stop whining. It's not my fault you weren't taught to read the directions before proceeding. Blame your parents, teachers or clergy.

Bake at 225 degrees for about as long as it takes me to post again. Remove and promptly serve to your friends and family. On the good plates, please. Presentation is everything.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

Quick Boobage for Quick Bucks!

Old news, but have you read about the class action lawsuit filed against Janet Jackson's breasts?

Apparently, a quick glance of a nipple causes viewers to "suffer outrage, anger, embarrassment and serious injury." I wonder if there would be such outrage if it had been adorned with a smiley face instead of a throwing star. I think it would have been a much happier experience. More of a "feel good moment". Now, as it is, I personally can't think about a ninja without thinking about a nipple, and that's just revolting.

Plus, think of the children! We can't allow THEM to see a nipple! It could lead to questions, like, "Isn't that where mommy milk comes from?", and "Why does HERS have a faucet handle?", etc. We don't need that in America. The longer we can keep kids from seeing a nipple, the safer we are. It's in the Constitution.

I read last weekend that the number of piercings and nipple jewelry purchases has gone up since Janet's "booboo". So I guess some people handle their outrage and anger in different ways. "Your Honor, I pierced my nipple after the disgusting display during the halftime show. I just couldn't help myself, I was so outraged by it all! Now, every time I look down I'm reminded of the whole torrid incident! My husband says he can't look at me naked without thinking of Janet Jackson, exposed in front of millions of people for a fraction of a second. It excites him, but in the wrong way! I'm asking for $30 million in damages. Yes, I'll take a check. Or PayPal. But not MP3s, unless they come with an iPod and an apology."

What I'm wondering is where is the lawsuit against Nelly and his constant crotch manipulation? I find that far more offensive. The only good that could come from seeing THAT is the knowledge that it's unwise to shake his hand without wearing a glove. Whereas seeing Janet's boob gave Americans the knowledge that she is not, in fact, Michael in drag. Unless his last nose surgery went horribly wrong. Or he's super freaky.

And Kid Rock wrapped in a American flag poncho. Surely THAT had to offend at least as many people as a bare tit.

I'm not saying that Janet was in the right, or that I believe it was an accident. I've never heard of any other duets in history where one of the singers partially disrobed the other "by accident".

I have no idea who knew in advance, and the only person that I can see being held fully responsible for the resulting display is Timberlake. He was the man with the happy hands. Janet just owns the boob. If I tore the shirt off a woman on the street, nipple rings or not, she wouldn't be the one on the way to jail, "Officer, wait, she's topless in public! Fair's fair!" As long as Janet plays innocent and hasn't left any witnesses to the arrangement, Justin's screwed.

Actually, as a disclaimer to all this, I should point out that I didn't see any of it firsthand. I don't really care much for football, so I was out shopping for cheap DVDs at the time. I first heard about it from my ex the next day, and then of course it was all over the internet. So rather then being scarred for life, I'm just amused. I probably can't collect anything for that.

Announcing: Corpus Crispy Crematorium!

If you are preparing to shuffle off this mortal coil, and would like to leave with little muss or fuss, come on down to Corpus Crispy Crematorium! We have the latest, state-of-the-art furnaces utilizing cutting edge E-Z-Bake technology!

How many employees does it take to change a lightbulb at Corpus Crispy Crematorium? ALL OF THEM! They're that big! And fast as the speed of light! We'll have you in and out quicker than your heirs can say "Jiffy-Pop!" and at a fraction of the cost of an old fashioned funeral! Plus at the end of the day, your dearly beloved will have a lovely momento of your departure that they can keep on the mantlepiece! Just try keeping the deceased's coffin over your fireplace! You can't do it! There's laws! But powdered people are portable, decorative AND legal!

So drag your carcass on down to Corpus Crispy Crematorium! It's fast, economical, and fun for the whole family! This weekend, in celebration of the grand opening of our newest facility, we'll have free food, drinks and clowns for the kids! If your kids don't want the clowns, please don't chuck them in the furnace! There's laws!

In the beginning...

...I created Fizzle & Pop, and it was lacking.


It was lacking content.

I'll begin work on that shortly.
"Boring a hole in the patient’s head creates a door through which the demons can escape, and - viola! - out goes the crazy."