Thursday, June 28, 2007

Got no art, but I'm filled with story

So this is, what? Two or three weeks since I last did anything for Illustration Friday? Time flies.

I did think of a story to share.

Growing up when I did, we kids didn't have video games to occupy our time, but that doesn't mean we didn't have fun. I remember when I was in elementary school one kid – let's call him Bobby – showed several of us other kids something pretty neat. He had one of those needles with a colored ball on the end that are used in sewing. This was probably fourth grade to give you an age idea. And no, the needle wasn't the neat part. The neat part was after he turned his back with the needle, did something, turned back around, held up his hand fingernail side toward us and fingers apart. There was the needle sticking across his index finger about halfway down. He waved his hand around like crazy and the needle didn't fall off. We were awed. No video games, remember? We had to know how he did it.

Since he was a sharing kind of Bobby, he showed us. It turned out he took the needle and carefully stuck it through the skin on his finger, going across the padded area on the palm side so that it just went under one or two layers of skin but didn't go far enough to cause bleeding. Ooooo! How cool is that? Hey! My mom sews! She has DOZENS of those needles! Thus began the plan. The plan to be the cool kid on Monday.

I went home, found my mom's needle stash – a.k.a. "pincushion" – and practiced. The nice thing about this is your body will tell you when you're doing it wrong. Too deep and it hurts, to shallow and the skin tears. I learned quickly and on Monday I snuck my mom's pincushion with me to school. At recess I started putting pins through my fingers.

When I was done, I went to the other kids and presented my hand the same way Bobby had. I had six needles going through each finger, two per pad. Ooooooo! Then I turned my hand around and showed them that I also had crossed six more needles on the fleshy part of my palm at the base of my fingers. Ahhhhhhh! King for a day.

I also found, later on, that if you insert a needle into that fleshy part of your palm and don't push it all the way though, but instead wiggle it around back and forth a bit, you could make a pocket in your hand large enough to hold a dime. That was walking around money in those days, and nothing impresses a cashier like pulling a dime from your hand pocket.

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Two movies that I've seen lately that I highly recommend: "Knocked Up" and "1408". However I will say that you'll get much more scare out of "1408" if you haven't seen the previews.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Going... going...

going on vacation. I may post something over the next week, but don't count on it. In the meantime, if you like tangrams, check out this game for both the Mac and Windows:



It's the best Tangram game that I've played on the computer in 14 years.

As for Illustration Friday... "Suit"? I think not. Maybe next time.

This amused me. Derek told me yesterday that he spoke with a former co-worker of ours named Tony while attending a wedding. To be honest, I always thought Tony was grating and didn't care to be around him. During their conversation I was mentioned and Tony said, "Now there's somebody you have to worry about. There's somebody who looks at you and you think, 'Jesus Christ! Where are the bodies hidden?' Better check his basement!" after which Derek said, "He's dating my sister."

"Check the basement." Please. Like I'd be that uncreative.

Have a great week everyone.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Getting to know me.

Derek posted a questionnaire on MySpace, and rather just answer there for his amusement I figured on trying to amuse some of you as well. The bulletin and my answers follow:

----------
So yeah, on friends list, blah blah blah, want to know stuff, yadda yadda.

reply to me and answer the questions OR FEROCIOUS UNICORNS WILL VISIT AND RUIN YOUR VEHICLE'S PAINT JOB! No, seriously...Anyway, look! Questions!
---

1.)Q. Can you cook?
1.)A. Not very well, but well enough to not die yet.

2.)Q. What was your dream growing up?
2.)A. It mostly involved dozens of giant tornados, mass destruction and invading aliens. I still have it ever other year or so.

3.)Q. What talent do you wish you had?
3.)A. I wish I was funny. No. I mean really funny.

4.)Q. If I bought you a drink what would it be?
4.)A. Creepy.

5.)Q. Favorite vegetable?
5.)A. They're all so clever, I don't think I can single out a favorite. Although carrots have been really outstanding lately. Broccoli could be trying harder.

6.)Q. What was the last book you read?
6.)A. 'The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove' by Christopher Moore

7.)Q. What zodiac sign are you ?
7.)A. I'm on the right side of the line between Aquarius and Pisces. The wrong side being Pisces.

8.)Q. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
8.)A. Not on me, but I have several tattoos on other people.

9.)Q. Worst Habit?
9.)A. Working. I'd kick it, but then I would get the shakes real bad and all my stuff would disappear.

10.)Q. If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
10.)A. Apparently.

11.)Q. What is your favorite sport?
11.)A. Hunting for compliments.

12.)Q. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
12.)A. Which do you think? Wrong!

13.)Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
13.)A. Forever? Kill you when you're sleeping and eat you to survive, I guess. I'd be sad about it though.

14.)Q. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
14.)A. Have my "girlfriend" have sex with my "best friend" because I was "moving too slow" when I was 18. That's the first to come to mind. There's probably worse.

15.)Q. Tell me one weird fact about you:
15.)A. I have a freckle in the middle of my lower lip. I think it's weird.

16.)Q. Do you have any pets?
16.)A. Several. A couple pass for children.

17.)Q. What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
17.)A. My dog would bark at you. The children might too.

18.)Q. What was your first impression of me?
18.)A. Aloof art snob.

19.)Q. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
19.)A. Why can't they be both? Is it right to put a limit on clowns? Just kidding. There's no such thing as a cute clown.

20.)Q. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be???
20.)A. I wouldn't mind losing around 60 lbs. Without, you know, diet or exercise.

21.)Q. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
21.)A. Apparently crime partner.

22.)Q. What color eyes do you have?
22.)A. Blue/Green.

23.)Q. Ever been arrested?
23.)A. Not as such.

24.)Q. Bottle or Draft?
24.)A. Bottles are great ways to hold liquids, and drafts are great ways to kill young men. Hmmmm. I'll say "Bottle".

25.)Q. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
25.)A. Pay off my VISA. Seriously. I want that fucker paid off.

26.)Q. Would you date me?
26.)A. Is this like "Name that currency"? I'll say 1975.

27.)Q. What 's your favorite bar to hang at?
27.)A. You've GOT to be kidding. The monkey bar! hur-hur.

28.)Q. Do you believe in ghosts?
28.)A. I allow the possibility, but haven't personally experienced the spooky.

29.)Q. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29.)A. Game, read or draw.

30.)Q. Do you swear a lot?
30.)A. Not normally, without provocation.

31.)Q. Biggest pet peeve?
31.)A. Like I would hand you that kind of ammo.

32.)Q. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32.)A. Subdued.

33.)Q. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same
33.)A. Why do I have to repost this so you can fill it out? You already have it! Lazy.

Monday, June 04, 2007

You know I'm looking forward to this...




AFI's Top 100 Comedies

(Deep apologies to anyone with a subscription to the feed for the four changes I've made after submitting the post. Apparently Mondays suck for proofreading.)

This is done as a companion post to Heather's post about the American Film Institute's (AFI) Top 100 comedies. I've marked the ones I've seen with a red number and provided links to the Netflix pages for all of the movies.

1. SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959) Netflix
2. TOOTSIE (1982) Netflix
3. DR. STRANGELOVE OR: HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB (1964) Netflix
4. ANNIE HALL (1977) Netflix
5. DUCK SOUP (1933) Netflix
6. BLAZING SADDLES (1974) Netflix
7. M*A*S*H (1970) Netflix
8. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934) Netflix
9. THE GRADUATE (1967) Netflix
10. AIRPLANE! (1980) Netflix
11. THE PRODUCERS (1968) Netflix
12. A NIGHT AT THE OPERA (1935) Netflix
13. YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (1974) Netflix
14. BRINGING UP BABY (1938) Netflix
15. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940) Netflix
16. SINGIN' IN THE RAIN (1952) Netflix
17. THE ODD COUPLE (1968) Netflix
18. THE GENERAL (1927) Netflix
19. HIS GIRL FRIDAY (1940) Netflix
20. THE APARTMENT (1960) Netflix
21. A FISH CALLED WANDA (1988) Netflix
22. ADAM'S RIB (1949) Netflix
23. WHEN HARRY MET SALLY… (1989) Netflix
24. BORN YESTERDAY (1950) Netflix
25. THE GOLD RUSH (1925) Netflix
26. BEING THERE (1979) Netflix
27. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (1998) Netflix
28. GHOSTBUSTERS (1984) Netflix
29. THIS IS SPINAL TAP (1984) Netflix
30. ARSENIC AND OLD LACE (1944) Netflix
31. RAISING ARIZONA (1987) Netflix
32. THE THIN MAN (1934) Netflix
33. MODERN TIMES (1936) Netflix
34. GROUNDHOG DAY (1993) Netflix
35. HARVEY (1950) Netflix
36. NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE (1978) Netflix
37. THE GREAT DICTATOR (1940) Netflix
38. CITY LIGHTS (1931) Netflix
39. SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS (1941) Netflix
40. IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD (1963) Netflix
41. MOONSTRUCK (1987) Netflix
42. BIG (1988) Netflix
43. AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973) Netflix
44. MY MAN GODFREY (1936) Netflix
45. HAROLD AND MAUDE (1972) Netflix
46. MANHATTAN (1979) Netflix
47. SHAMPOO (1975) Netflix
48. A SHOT IN THE DARK (1964) Netflix
49. TO BE OR NOT TO BE (1942) Netflix
50. CAT BALLOU (1965) Netflix
51. THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH (1955) Netflix
52. NINOTCHKA (1939) Netflix
53. ARTHUR (1981) Netflix
54. THE MIRACLE OF MORGAN'S CREEK (1944) Netflix
55. THE LADY EVE (1941) Netflix
56. ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN (1948) Netflix
57. DINER (1982) Netflix
58. IT'S A GIFT (1934) Netflix
59. A DAY AT THE RACES (1937) Netflix
60. TOPPER (1937) Netflix
61. WHAT'S UP, DOC? (1972) Netflix
62. SHERLOCK, JR. (1924) Netflix
63. BEVERLY HILLS COP (1984) Netflix
64. BROADCAST NEWS (1987) Netflix
65. HORSE FEATHERS (1932) Netflix
66. TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN (1969) Netflix
67. MRS. DOUBTFIRE (1993) Netflix
68. THE AWFUL TRUTH (1937) Netflix
69. BANANAS (1971) Netflix
70. MR. DEEDS GOES TO TOWN (1936) Netflix
71. CADDYSHACK (1980) Netflix
72. MR. BLANDINGS BUILDS HIS DREAM HOUSE (1948) Netflix
73. MONKEY BUSINESS (1931) Netflix
74. 9 TO 5 (1980) Netflix
75. SHE DONE HIM WRONG (1933) Netflix
76. VICTOR/VICTORIA (1982) Netflix
77. THE PALM BEACH STORY (1942) Netflix
78. ROAD TO MOROCCO (1942) Netflix
79. THE FRESHMAN (1925) Netflix
80. SLEEPER (1973) Netflix
81. THE NAVIGATOR (1924) Netflix
82. PRIVATE BENJAMIN (1980) Netflix
83. FATHER OF THE BRIDE (1950) Netflix
84. LOST IN AMERICA (1985) Netflix
85. DINNER AT EIGHT (1933) Netflix
86. CITY SLICKERS (1991) Netflix
87. FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (1982) Netflix
88. BEETLEJUICE (1988) Netflix
89. THE JERK (1979) Netflix
90. WOMAN OF THE YEAR (1942) Netflix
91. THE HEARTBREAK KID (1972) Netflix
92. BALL OF FIRE (1941) Netflix
93. FARGO (1996) Netflix
94. AUNTIE MAME (1958) Netflix
95. SILVER STREAK (1976) Netflix
96. SONS OF THE DESERT (1933) Netflix
97. BULL DURHAM (1988) Netflix
98. THE COURT JESTER (1956) Netflix
99. THE NUTTY PROFESSOR (1963) Netflix
100 GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM (1987) Netflix

So I've seen 43 of the 100. Of those I own 16 on DVD and I've added around 20 that I haven't watched to our Netflix queue. Do I agree with the list? That's hard to say. I don't tend to rank movies I've seen in any kind of cohesive list. Derek gets all kinds of annoyed when I can't name of my favorite movies, songs, or whatever. I tend to rank most things on a three step scale: Liked it - Ehhhh - Didn't like it. There are also two more steps but those don't get used too often: Loved it - Would rather gargle in glass with a drano chaser than watch again. So I guess it's really a five step scale. "Loved it"s are movies that I can toss in and enjoy watching almost any time. Of the movies on this list that I've seen, 'A Fish Called Wanda' , 'Groundhog Day', 'The Odd Couple' and 'The Producers' fall into that category. Nothing I've seen on the list falls into the "Glass & Drano" category, but there are a few that I didn't really like, or that I liked at first but liked less with each additional viewing: 'Good Morning, Vietnam', 'Mrs. Doubtfire' and 'Arthur'.

Not on the list, but still great (off the top of my mind – I'm sure there are others I'd add if I could remember them):

Murder By Death (1976) Netflix
Kung Fu Hustle (2004) Netflix
Trading Places (1983) Netflix
Midnight Run (1988) Netflix
Rocketman (1997) Netflix I may lose all credibility with this one, but as I recall it's very funny. I haven't seen it in nine years though.

That should do it. Have a great week.
"Boring a hole in the patient’s head creates a door through which the demons can escape, and - viola! - out goes the crazy."