Monday, April 26, 2004

More of my happy-fun-fun spam!

It arrived in my mailbox with the name "Dont Blame Ur Bro Being So Small, Try This Out harvey cerise". We have a building wide spam filter in place, so this is some clever stuff to make it through the laser fence. Below I will dissect it piece by piece because I can and want to.




Okay, I'm sure that spelling pill and enhancement "pi11" and "enhance-ment" is an attempt to slip this past spam blockers... However this whole spam arrived as an image file, and I don't think spam blockers use OCR technology. Too clever for their own good.
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I can think of more than a few corners of the world that I wouldn't want botanicals from. And I mean botanicals that I would put on a windowsill, much less in my body.
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None of that half-inch crap! They offer FULL inches!
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"Fuller"? Is that a selling point of DICCKYs? Do women check out the groin area of a man and think to herself, "That doesn't look quite full enough. Gotta pass."? I just don't know.
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They ship to all countries THANK GOD! *whew*
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Week 1-3: this would be after 14-42 pi11s. And this would be noticeable to who, exactly? Physicists can notice some awful small stuff.
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Week 4-8: Now, believe it or not, thick WHILE flaccid is actually very important. It helps with the impression of fullness you give off while walking around, AND it gives the guys something to fear while standing around the urinal. It also gives a man a rolling gait, and if you want to be a cowboy that is key.
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Week 9+: Before this point you might want to consider stopping the pi11s. Because, from what I gather from this part of the email, your DICCKY will have become large enough and strong enough to rip itself from your body and wander off to find someone else. Someone "harder" and "healthier". Or, it may go terrorize Tokyo. You know, whatever. It's a DICCKY. It does what it wants.
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So, there you go. If you find yourself wanting to investigate this wonder pi11, email me and I'll forward the whole thing to you so you can follow the links in pursuit of a "much fuller & harder" DICCKY, or something to send on a rampage after nine weeks. I'll be discrete. I promise.

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