Monday, October 09, 2006

I've got some 'splaining to do.

That photo I showed a couple posts back isn't from a stalker or anything interesting like that. A couple weeks ago I ordered the three DVD set of "The Darrel Show: 5th Anniversary Spectacular", and that picture came with it.

The first I'd heard of The Darrel Show was at the website Movies Made Me Do It, and if you follow that link you can read their whole review.

I had planned on watching all three discs by the end of this weekend so I could include what I thought of it with this post, however I forgot. Oops. I did watch the first disc earlier last week, however, and I must say that it is one of the most awkward shows I've ever seen. Yet it also had some really good bits that kept it from totally sucking. And the whole thing only cost a penny plus shipping. And you get the penny back.

I think if it had been given a chance, and it had aired on something like MTV rather than Arizona public access stations, it might have been able to develop into something quite entertaining.

The whole set has been lovingly burned to three DVD-Rs and are individually sealed in collectable paper sleeves. And it's topped off by a disturbing personalized photo of Darrel himself.

Or is it?

I'm wondering, because I also decided to spring for the self-proclaimed "Worst Movie of All Time": Anus Magillicutty for $9.99. It might be that they only include the personalized photo for the really big spenders.

Is "Anus Magillicutty" the worst move of all time? I don't know. I haven't watched it yet, either. But I will, and when I do I'll let you know how it ranks against my current Top 5 of Suck:

1. The Astro-Zombies (1968)
I got this movie for free and I still felt ripped off. It was also created the same year that I was, which is quite annoying to me.

Best/Worst memory: The flashlight powered zombie stumbling up the sidewalk, trying to get back to the lab.

2. Laser Moon (1992)
Derek and I will have more on this one and three others at some point on "the pod".

Best/Worst memory: When former porn actress and lead, Traci Lords, says out loud, "This movie sucks."

3. Frogs (1972)
I've seen this for sale at a local used DVD place for about $3 and I still can't force myself to get it.

Best/Worst memory: They were FROGS. Not even frogs with machine guns or fire breath. Ordinary FROOOOGS!

4. Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (1972)
The director/co-writer of this gem, Bob Clark, also brought us "Porky's" 1 & 2, "Baby Geniuses" 1 & 2, "Turk 182!" annnnnnd "A Christmas Story" plus many others. I also just found out that he's remaking "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things". Color me agahst. No word yet on "A Christmas Story 2".

Best/Worst memory: If the two gay characters vamped any harder Dracula would have shown up and smacked those bitches.

5. The Burbs (1989)
Hahahah! Just kidding Derek. It's not in my top five of suck.

5 (really). Pokémon: The First Movie (1999)
Said like it's a promise AND a threat. I actually saw this in the theater. My son was massively into Pokemon when this movie came out and he really wanted to see it. So I took him thinking, "How bad could it be?" #5 is how bad.

Best/Worst memory: Near the end, when all of the Pokemon have paired off and are beating each other with no end in sight because they are too evenly matched, the lead character starts whining about how all this fighting is wrong, blah-blah-blah. IT'S WHAT THEY ARE FOR! IT'S WHY THEY EXIST! IT'S WHY THERE'S A MOVIE! AND A GAME! I wish I could remember exactly what it was that was said, but not nearly enough to watch it again.

So there you go. I'm pretty sure that "Anus Magillicutty" will fit somewhere in the top 5, but I'm not sure if it will take the top spot.

Have a great week everyone!

2 comments:

Derek Knight said...

I don't know, I mean...The title already puts it somewhere other than the top spot. I've laughed every time I've said it out loud.

Of course, I've been drinking.

Heather said...

The only one of your worst movies that I've seen is Laser Moon and that just might be on the top of my list!

"Boring a hole in the patient’s head creates a door through which the demons can escape, and - viola! - out goes the crazy."