Friday, February 02, 2007

The thoughts in my head go round and round.

Okay, I have two thoughts to share with you today. More like questions really. Ponderings. One occurred to me in the car and the other while at work. Both may have answers, but as usual I'm too lazy to look them up. Google be damned.

Ready or not, here they are (well, I guess if you aren't ready you could pause for a few seconds before reading on):

When it comes to writing out US currency, why is it that we put dollar signs at the front of the amount – $25 – and cent signs in the back – 25¢ – ? Are we the only country that does this? I notice that other countries (Nigeria is the first to spring to mind) put the dollar sign after the amount – 25035423US$ – which if you are reading it out loud kinda makes sense:

"I have twenty-five million, thirty-five thousand, four-hundred-twenty-three U.S. dollars just waiting for me in a bank in Nigeria."

Not "I have U.S. dollars twenty-five million, thirty-five thousand, four-hundred-twenty-three just waiting for me in a bank in Nigeria."

Derek figured that the cent sign follows the amount because cents come after the decimal in a dollar amount – $25.35¢ – but that doesn't sound likely to me. And I can't tell you how many times I've had an Account Executive give me a disclaimer that stated something to the effect of the cost per mile over the lease allowable was .21¢ per mile. So... what? about 1/5th of a penny? That doesn't sound too bad. Oh! You mean twenty-one cents! I see. That's not as good.

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The other thought I had delves into religion, an area I'm really unqualified to be delving in, but what the heck. That hasn't stopped me in the past.

I was thinking about how the Christian religions believe that Jesus Christ will return to earth and usher in the end times. Now, the thought was this: Would the returned Jesus be a Christian? Or would he be non-denominational? When he left earth the first time he was Jewish, correct? Is the supposition that in the past couple of thousand years he's had time to change his mind? And how would that work, exactly?

"This is Bill Jibbowanski reporting to you live from the second coming of Jesus Christ, taking place at this non-descript IHOP in Boise, Idaho where for the past two weeks His image has been appearing on all of the pancakes along with the slogans "coming soon" and "be seeing you". Crepes too, I've just been told. There's quite a crowd gathered here, as you might well imagine, however I hope to be able to ask Jesus a tough question that I'm sure you – the viewers at home – want asked. I think I see Him. Yes. The crowd is parting and there He is! Jesus! JESUS! Yo! JESUS! Bill Jibbowanski; Channel 5 news! Can you please tell me: Do you consider yourself a born-again Christian, or do you still cling to your Jewish beliefs?"

"Hi Bill! That's a question that doesn't have an easy answer. I think I still identify with the Jewish faith, however Christianity does bring up a valid point. I believe strongly in Me and My Second Coming because, hey, here I am! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a host of angels to organize, flight plans to arrange for the near simultaneous upward exodus of millions of true believers and then I have to kick some evil ass. Be seeing you."

"Thank you Jesus, and godspeed. Well there you have it folks. Jesus has returned and He's a man on a mission with little time for chit-chat. Back to you Cynthia."

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Have a great weekend everyone.

2 comments:

Heather said...

You need a smarter girlfriend, one who can discuss these important issues with you. As it is, she's laughing her ass off at the "be seeing you" left on a pancake!

Derek Knight said...

and crepes, too!

"Boring a hole in the patient’s head creates a door through which the demons can escape, and - viola! - out goes the crazy."