Tuesday, January 20, 2009

What a politicelicous day!

Not this post though. This post is almost 100% politics free, however it could contain trace amounts of peanuts. If while reading this you experience shortness of breath and a swelling in your throat, or you have a history of peanut related allergies, stop reading immediately and consult a physician. You're dying! Hurry!

I used to have horrible allergies when I was a kid. It was first misdiagnosed as asthma by some officer tard at the Peterson Air Force Base Medical Center when I was – wait for it... – nine. So for a long time I was the dweebie kid with an inhaler and a fear of physical activity that I'd been told could lead to a thrashing-on-the-floor-clutching-at-my-throat, gaspy death. Fucking inhaler. I hated that thing.

Many years later when I was 14 and living with my dad in Pueblo, I went in for my first and only allergy test. I don't know if it's still done this way, but as I recall at the time they had a rack of needles that were each coated with some form of evil that was poked into your back, it was covered with a sheet of paper or something and then they sat back and watched what happened. Half my frickin' back blew up. When the doctor lifted the sheet he did that sharp inhalation of breath like "hsst..." and said, "Oh my." The biggest bumps were cats and politics, and there were about six other lesser bumps that were pulsing for attention. None of the allergies were peanuts of course. That's not one that creeps up on you, especially if half your diet up to that point was peanut butter in one form or another; Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, peanut butter infused Carnation Instant Breakfast Bars (back when they were good), peanut butter sandwiches, peanut butter cookies, peanut butter on a spoon, etc. What can I say? I'm a fan.

Over the last 26 years most of my allergies have abated somewhat. I'm still pretty allergic to cats, but not all cats, and if I can avoid touching my face after handling a cat I can usually manage to not run screaming to the bathroom in search of water. It's a huge step up from where walking into a room with a cat would make my face turn red and cause me to try to claw my brain out through my eyes out for the blessed release that death might bring. I'm still not on board with owning a cat though, which wouldn't be a problem except both Heather and my daughter would love to have one. My daughter helpfully points out that there is medicine I can buy that would help me be less lame regarding cats. My problem with that theory is, if I don't have the medicine handy, I would have to leave the house naked (because when you have a cat the hair gets everywhere), hose myself off in the back yard and then hope somebody gets me more medicine. Plus there's the fear that it will one day decide that I must die and sit on my face while I'm sleeping and nobody is watching.

Well, that's pretty much all the time I have for posting today. I hope it was more fun than the last several have been. Here's the current SloMo Doodle:



It just felt like a balloon kinda day.

1 comment:

Heather said...

It has balloons. What the hell is it??

That sounds like a horrible way to find out what you're allergic to. Ask Derek how they found out he was allergic to cats, rabbits & birds. I don't think they did that!

"Boring a hole in the patient’s head creates a door through which the demons can escape, and - viola! - out goes the crazy."