I wonder if it's the changing seasons.
Perhaps it's the approaching holidays and their accompanying stress.
Or even just the stress of day to day life.
Whatever the reason, some bloggers that I've spoken with have been considering shutting down or taking an extended vacation.
And yesterday I discovered that I am in the same sinking boat.
I was sitting at the computer Sunday afternoon, about to catch up on the blogs that I had fallen behind on while our internet access at work had been down.
My page loaded (I always jump around from here) and I was looking at it when a huge wave of "I really don't feel like doing this anymore" washed over me. So I sat there staring at my screen and analyzing that feeling while my son was making "Are you done with the computer yet?" noises in the background.
I scrolled through my last several posts and considered what I had written. I came to the conclusion that a lot of it (most of it, in my opinion) was just stuff I threw together to have something to post. I was just casting my babbling voice into the void for no other reason than "it's there, and seems to need filling." There was little of consequence to anyone, even me.
I thought about my forum and the storytelling game that I started. That is one thing that I am happy with. A lot of people have displayed really good storytelling skills by writing some interesting stories that might never have been written if it weren't for the game. Although I've failed to participate in the last two rounds, I'm glad to see it continuing just fine without me.
The rest of the forum might as well be dead though. I must have seen eight or nine movies in the theater since the last time I posted a review of anything. The photo scavenger hunt never got off the ground, and soon it will be too cold to have any fun playing. Not to mention that I can't figure out a way to display a photo in a forum post, only links to photos, so that would limit the interest.
A while back I came to the conclusion that I must have been out of my mind to think I could find the time to keep a forum up to date and interesting at the same time as a blog. I'm just not that entertaining or creative. So I opened up all of the rooms in the forum to any member that wanted to start a thread. Only a couple have taken me up on it so far, and I really appreciate their efforts to keep the forum going. I hope they will continue with the storytelling game, even if the rest of the place gets covered in dust.
With my focus taken off the forum for the past couple of months my blog is still just limping along. Occasionally funny, but usually lame.
Last week I posted about my disappointment that I would never get rich through blogging. It was a mixed truth. I never had any intention of anything I write or do here directly making money. But like nearly all of the wait staff in Hollywood, I was hoping to one day be discovered with even less of a chance of it happening (it's a BIG internet). The thing of it is though, nothing I've been doing lately has been worth discovering. Not really. When I contrast it to what I was doing back in the good old days of "Half-Assed Comics" it seriously pales in comparison. I suck mightily these days.
So, once again I'm going to take a break from regular (hah) blogging and figure out just what I can do here that will showcase my talents. Because I swear I do have talents. Writing just isn't a very strong one. I really slacked off too much in English class.
I'll still be cramming stuff in my junk drawer because that takes very little time and effort.
Once I've figured out what I want to do here I will resume... something. Whatever it is, it will need to be better than this. And if I can't come up with anything, then this is probably goodbye, because I'm just really not enjoying this anymore.