Tuesday, March 30, 2004

hahahaha! I'm so damned lazy!

Okay, nothing new to post since, rather than coming up with anything interesting of my own, I've been looking at other people's interesting things. I've added several new links to the fun places I've found. The one with possibly the greatest fun to looking ratio would be zefrank.com. I've only followed a couple of links, but wheeee! OH! I got two issues of 'bear' yesterday. More with the wheee! If you enjoy strange crap and aren't put off by comics, check it out.

Monday, March 29, 2004

Half-Assed Comic #7 : When Bugs Fly





To the tune of When Doves Cry. Dig if u will a picture Of me speeding way 2 damned fast The rain from the morning's everywhere Tell me my reader Will I die at last? Spot if you can the sharp curve Next to the highway so close Commuters strike curious poses They hear the screech The screech as I slide on through. How can they just leave me strapped in Alone in a car that's just rolled? Maybe my spine has been severed Maybe that's how come I'm feeling so cold Maybe my head will stop spinning Surprised I'm still alive Next time I know I'll drive slower That is how to avoid When Bugs Fly

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Half-Assed Comic #6 : Zombies! Why do I love them so?






Wordy and time consuming. This one took two nights to finish (partly because I got halfway and then had writer's block). I'm going to try something new with the next one. It *should* be done by the end of the week.

Edited 3/24: I just found out (via Boing Boing) that you can now legally download the entire 'Night of the Living Dead' film here at archive.org.

(Alternate text for search engines) Zombies! Why do I Love Them So? I think it goes back to my childhood, like most things. When I was 9 years old(ish) I was flipping through the channels (all 3 of them) when I came across an old black & white movie with erie music in the background. Of course I stopped there and started to watch. A few minutes into it and I got the shock of my young life! A mutilated old lady at the top of a set of stairs! Scared me crapless! (I swear it was looking at me!) I found out later that the movie was the classic film 'Night of the Living Dead' (I didn't finish watching it that night) I didn't see the entire movie until much later in my life, and although the body on the stairs wasn't nearly as scary that time around, there was a slight tingle of fear still there. And I think that's the key to why I like zombies... They can scare me. I'm not especially hard to scare, but stuff like the 'Nightmare', 'Halloween', 'Hellrazer' & 'Friday the 13th' series of movies can't scare me the same way a good zombie movie can. And that's the thing. It has to be a good zombie movie. I've seen crappy zombie movies (Children Shouldn't Play With Dead things) & decent zombie movies (The Romero 'Dead' trilogy). Most of the zombie movies I've seen were on VHS or DVD mainly since there aren't very many made these days that aren't crap. There have only been three exceptions that I can think of offhand: Resident Evil: Not a bad movie, but it could have been better. I will see the sequel. 28 Days Later: now this I really liked. Technically not a zombie film, but it has the same feel. & most recently the remake of 'Dawn of the Dead'. I've heard some critics panning it because it doesn't live up to the original. To that I say "Phhhbbblllttt!" Taken as just a zombie film, it's a lot of fun, and has quite a few 'tingle' moments. I recommend it. See it on the big screen.

Monday, March 22, 2004

Ah Children...

...gotta love 'em! My son, who recently celebrated his eleventh birthday, pointed out that one of the hairs that fell out of my slowly shedding head had a white root. It made me realize that I am now old enough that my own child is pointing out that I am old. This happened as we were getting in the car to head out on a whirlwind tour of stores in an attempt to gather the supplies he needs for his school science project that is due in two weeks.

He's known about this project since the end of January. On the cover of the packet they gave him it says in bold letters "Work Hard! Don't wait until the last minute!" That makes me chuckle. If my son has inherited anything from me, it's my talent for procrastination (you'll notice I don't have a new comic for today). I'm sure part of that message is for the parents as well. Yeah, that'll work. I should call them and say "Who do you think he got it from?", but I'm too lazy to dial the phone.

So, here we are at near-zero hour. About a month ago I gave him an idea for a psychology experiment. It would have been pretty fun. But we totally ran out of time for that one. So the fallback experiment involves magnets, mineral oil and iron filings. It took some shopping to find some decent magnets, we still haven't bought the mineral oil and no place we went to sold iron filings. So, on to plan two. Gather them ourselves.

I guess not too many people are aware of just how abundant iron filings are in dirt and sand. I say this based on how many people stopped beside us while we were running some of the spare magnets through the dirt to ask what we were doing. So, it's abundant, but damned time consuming to collect this way. We spent about three hours on Sunday filtering through dirt. At the end of it all we had about 3 tbs of filings (and dirt...this is key). At about the two-hour point when I was feeling delirious from the heat (I had gotten sunburned the day before when we were out flying kites, and was STILL too stupid to put on sunblock) my son said "I'm glad we didn't buy any filings because this is fun!" And I actually agreed.

It got me thinking back to my own childhood and my father. He wasn't the kind of guy who would have spent three hours in the dirt helping me look for anything, much less ingredients for a school project that I had put off too long. I'm not meaning to imply that he didn't love me. There have been times in my life where I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't been there for me. He just didn't relate well to children. At all. So it was a good feeling that I was there to help out my son when he needed it.

After we got home at 5:30-ish, he collapsed in front of one of the game systems while I decided to try to separate the filings from the clinging dirt.

At first I just tried magnetism, but I could still see a fair amount of dirt mixed in. Then I tried water, which was a very good thing. It must have been a combination of sun stroke and fatigue, but I didn't consider that after the filings are mixed in with the mineral oil you need to be able to see what's happening in the jar when you apply the magnet. When I mixed in water it was like an instant mud cloud! So I spent another hour and a half filtering the filings through water in an attempt to get them clean. I pulled my son off his game to participate once I knew it wasn't going to be a quick thing. He had fun with that too.

Even after multiple filterings the water was still murky and I was quite tired of the whole thing. Today I went to an education supply site that I had the link of at work and ordered a 1lb bag of filings and had them sent 2-day air. If we actually get them on time and he doesn't wind up needing what we collected, I still won't regret the time we spent together working on collecting the first batch. I just really enjoyed spending time with my son.

Even if he likes to remind me that I'm old.

Friday, March 19, 2004

Half-Assed Card #003



Okay, I'm not in a good mood. You can probably tell.

For a real strange time...

...check out Web Zen. I recommend this week's '6+=1'

I'll have more of what you come here for (what DO you come her for, anyway?) by the end of the weekend.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Half-Assed Card #002



Click on the above image for the printer ready version.

This is how I'll be displaying the cards from now on. Makes it a bit easier to read. The folding instructions are the same.

Added to the store

Okay, I know this isn't the kind of update that the few people who read my site are interested in, but at the moment I have nothing else for you.

I figured out that at a cafeshop free shop you are allowed one of each type of product they offer with anything you choose to put on it. So to have two different t-shirts I would have to upgrade to a premium account. Derek and I are talking about a different idea so I'm not going to upgrade for now.

I did make a (semi)new design for the men's and women's hoodies and added a "flying disc". Here's the design:




And for now I'm done messing with the store. I'll be back to making comics or cards on the next update.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Missing, presumed lame.

Okay, yes, I'm lame. Once again I have nothing new to post today. Other than to let people know I'm still alive and thinking.

One thing I thought of was opening a cafepress shop. So I did. Here's the link, and it will be in my sidebar. Although at the moment there is nothing actually IN the shop to buy.

Also, my plan for the time being is that anything sold through the shop (once there's stuff to buy) will be at cafepress' cost. No mark-up for profit for me. That way if there's anything there you want there you can get it at the lowest price that I can set. It will remain this way for the forseeable future. If I see a lot of stuff selling per month (hah), then I may increase the price a small amount and possibly earn a bit'o cash. For now though it's not worth the tax hassle.

Also, due to some of the restrictions in their user agreement I won't be able to offer up some of the things that I had been thinking of (half-assed cards for example). Although, I haven't taken the time yet to find out what the other shops are offering to see just how much wiggle room there is, so who knows.

So, that's what I'm doing. Half-Assed Comics are currently on hold while I think some things out.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Just Stuff

This amuses me (look inside!):


and just a quick sketch I don't have a use for:

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Half-Assed Cards





I rushed this first one. Too much to do in one night.
You can get the full sized card to print by clicking on the preview image.

(edited 03.16.04 to match new format)

Half-Assed Comic #5.01 : why does bobby smack billy - pt. 1

Goodbye Spalding Gray

They found his body yesterday.

You deserve a break today.

Derek was just saying, on behalf of half my vocal fanbase, that my fans are tired of the half-assed comics and they want something better.

I said, "How about I don't post for a week then?" Maybe a break from them is what the fans really need.

He didn't feel that was the answer.

I am going to have to do something different with the next one though. It's going to be longer than the rubberband war, and I've noticed that even though I don't change the width of my comic template when I add to the depth, the hosting site scales down the entire image proportionately so they get thinner and harder to read. So what I'm planning to do is adopt a comic-stip look for the next set rather than a comic-page look like I've been doing. I'll begin work on the first one tonight (heh) and should have it posted before I go to bed.

Also, my son said, after reading my last comic, that people may feel that I am mean to Derek since I always portray him as evil. Don't get me wrong, he's not ALWAYS evil. I'm sure he's nice to puppies and bunnies (inside joke). I'm also not saying he's one of those people who goes out of his way to be evil. For him, it's effortless. If you haven't already read how he nearly got me fired from the Gazette, head on over to his blog and check it out. For what's it's worth, I can laugh about it now.

Sunday, March 07, 2004

Half-Assed Comic #4 : Things to do in Colorado Springs when you're dead



This one took me a ridiculous amount of time. The first one took less time to finish than I spent designing the header. This one took 4x as long as the first and 2x as long as the third. Feh. I'm starting to care about the quality. This is bad. Mark my words, nothing good can come from this.

For those of you still looking forward to these, my next comic is going to be a societal rant. Won't THAT be fun?
(Alternate text for search engines)Many years ago I was involved in a discussion with Joan and Derek at the gazette about ghosts (imagine that) and what we would do if we died and found ourselves in that situation: Joan said she planed to do all the traveling that she wasn't able to do while she was alive... I can't recall what Derek had planned on happening after he died, but I figure it will go like this: (Everyone who knows him will likely agree that a blow to the head will be his cause of death. I said that I would be as annoying as I possibly could. Nothing deadly of course, (who wants the company) just minor things like: Ectoplasmic willies, shoulder taps and wedgies of the damned. When I told my ex she said, "So nothing different then?" I guess not.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Thanks to Jeff Kay...

...at The West Virginia Surf Report I have this link to add to my bar. Check it out, it's quite interesting.

Is there something a person can take to increase their motivation that is, you know, legal?

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Half-Assed Comic #3 : rubberband war is hell pt. 2



The completion of the rubberband war.

Although, since we have both been talking about this incident there has been an increasing number of rubberbands flying around work. Fortunately, we are seated far enough apart that they (so far) lack power by the time they reach their target.

Derek engaged in some walk-by sniping today, and if we were keeping score (which I know he is) he's in the lead as of now.
(Alternate text for search engines) The first band caught him square in his eye. He jerked mostly from surprise and said, "Ah! You shot my eye!" The the second hit! "Ahhh! You shot my other eye!" I was laughing mostly out of surprise that they had actually hit him! I'm not known for my killer aim, so it was extra sweet! I was very glad that I hadn't blinded him, (They were remnant bands form the supply closet so they didn't have much punch, unlike the monsters that Derek brought) But my victory was as short as it was sweet. Later he ninja'd up on me and snapped one of those monster bands of his smack on my forehead. It hurt like hell and left a welt the size of a dime that lasted the rest of the night. So he took the lead in the war and later moved in for the kill. I was talking to another employee and had my back to him at the time, but he admits this is what happened... Okay, he didn't actually blow his eye out the back of his skull. He did knock himself out of his chair and into unconsciousness though. We heard him hit the floor and went to see if he was okay. It took him a few minutes to recover his wits and his eye was crimson red for a few days. That marked the end of the war.

A quickie

Okay, I have nothing new today because I used last night to catch up on all of the sleep I've been missing out on. This morning I was actually semi-awake before the alarm went off. I know, excuses, excuses. So, here's this. I'll return to the Rubber Band War tonight.

Monday, March 01, 2004

Half-Assed Comic #2 : rubberband was is hell



This one is going to be a two-parter (at least). If you just can't wait to see my side of the story play out, you can visit Derek's site for his side of things. Just remember though, he's quite biased. And evil.

Also, I would like to say thanks to Nate Piekos at www.blambot.com for providing a great selection of comic style fonts free at his site to independent comic artists. He also has some very cool links from his site, as well as information for aspiring artists.
"Boring a hole in the patient’s head creates a door through which the demons can escape, and - viola! - out goes the crazy."