I was going to go to the police auction this weekend. You never know when it might be handy to have a cop around. Even a used one. I was hoping to get one with shootout experience and possibly some hostage negotiating skills. Or maybe one with some contacts in vice. That can be handy too.
But then I found out they don't auction police, they auction vehicles. And not even police vehicles. It's seized and abandoned vehicles. Talk about false advertising. So, screw that.
I guess I'll just have to resort to plan two. A dark alley, a trail of donuts, a club and a burlap bag. Wish me luck.