Well, it's official...

I knew the neighborhood wasn't the best when I moved in, but I couldn't afford better and at the time housing was scarce.

There's a strip club across from us on Austin Bluffs Parkway and a High School across from us on Barnes*, but it's getting worse.

In the past few months there have been a couple of Dollar Stores spring up in the area.

Then the first "Cash Your Paycheck Here" place arrived.

Now, as I was on my way in to work this morning I saw that they're breaking ground for a brand new Waffle House about four blocks away from my apartment.

A Waffle House.

People who dine at Denny's don't even have respect for Waffle House.

My son, when he heard my expression of disgust as we drove by, asked what was so bad about Waffle House. 12 years old, a veteran of 'Halo 2', GTAs '3' through 'San Andreas' and XBox Live and yet he still manages to retain some innocence. I told him that we might be slightly better off it was an IHOP. He just shrugged and resumed listening to the Beastie Boys.

I guess there's nothing for it. I'm going to have to start a meth lab, sell crack and walk around barefoot and shirtless, scratching at my hairy belly and drinking malt liquor. There are certain standards that must be upheld and I would hate to let my neighborhood down.

Burrrrp. *skritch*skritch*

"Psst! Hey buddy! I got some crack fer youse here! No? How's about meth? No? ... I'll let you rub my belly for a dollar. Fiddy cent. Fine. Be like dat. If youse changes yer mind I'll be off meandering thissaway."

* I've only been in the strip club once for my son's trombone recital. Oh wait. That was the High School. It's hard to tell the way kids dress these days. That's right. Now that I think about it, there were no poles and the music was less thumpy.


Popular Posts