Thursday, July 28, 2005

Another Thought and a Short Story

Heather and I were talking about the birth of clowns from making fun last night and she asked, "What if one of you thinks fun has been made but the other doesn't?" It was decided that in that case a mime is born.
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And a short story. You love short stories! I know you do. This is a story about a former coworker of mine and Derek's. I mentioned her before when I was talking about my dislike of Western Sizzlin'. She used to work there and married one of the busboys. I'm reasonably certain Derek never told this story. If he did, oops. It's worth retelling.

I don't want to use her real name because it would just be mean. I'll call her Sunny. Yes. That'll do.

Sunny is a wee bit scattered in the head at times. She has a touch of flighty-brain. She attended one of the more privileged high schools here in the Springs. One of those schools where at least half the kids drive cars that cost more than I make in a year. At times it was quite obvious that her senses and values were a bit skewed and she had a habit of saying whatever popped into her mind. A great source of amusement and annoyance.

Man. After all that build up and character development, this is going to be quite short. It took place after Sunny and her husband bought their house. Her husband, "Jerry", had been working on their yard the weekend before and at one point Sunny said out of the blue, "Jerry is a mighty sodomite!"

...

Derek just started laughing. I said something like, "Oh?" She looked a little puzzled at the reaction she was getting. You could tell she knew she'd said something wrong but didn't know what.

"Yes. He was laying sod all weekend. He's almost done. So he's a mighty sodomite. WHAT'S SO FUNNY?"

This wasn't the first time she used the wrong word for something. Other times we would tell her the right meaning of the word she used. Not this time. None of us could bring ourselves to tell her that she just said her husband was an accomplished bugger master.

We made her look it up in the dictionary. Which Derek just reminded me led to her having to look up other words, like "coitus". When she read the definition of "sodomite" she yelled out, "Oh no! That's not what I meant! I just meant he was good at laying sod! Stop laughing Derek! Don't tell anyone about this, especially not Jerry!"

Out of all the things she did while working with us, that is the one that I remember most. That and when we talked her into giving her leftover lunch taco to a guy who may or may not have been homeless. That's not as mean spirited as it sounds though. She ordered tacos at Chipotle and was only able to eat two of the three. She was stressing about wasting food and on the way out the door we saw a guy who appeared to be a bit down on his luck and one of us suggested she give it to him rather than throw it out since he looked hungry. And after a bit of deliberation, "What if he takes it the wrong way and gets mad?", "Who would get mad? Free taco!", she walked up to him and he accepted and said thank you. Of course she was annoyed with us since while she was doing this we crossed the street without her. But hey! The light had changed and he didn't really look dangerous!

So there you go. Two stories and the cause of mimes. TJR part 4 may or may not be up tomorrow.

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"Boring a hole in the patient’s head creates a door through which the demons can escape, and - viola! - out goes the crazy."