Okay, I hope my wonderful, sexy, intelligent readers don't feel I'm copping out by doing another one of these smart-assed Q&A posts. Nor the rest of you for that matter. I enjoyed the first one a lot and had been wanting to do another when lo & behold one was in my inbox this morning. So, here you go:
Welcome to the next edition of getting to know your friends. What you're supposed to do is copy (not forward) this entire email and paste it onto a new email that you'll send. Change all of the answers so that they apply to you. Then, send this to a whole bunch of people you know "INCLUDING" the person that sent it to you. The theory is that you'll learn a lot of little known facts about your friends. It's fun and easy. You might be surprised with some of the things you learn about people you think you know...and this is different from the last one!
1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A SECOND HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Inside the hollowed-out skulls of my enemies! But they have a bit of breathing room since I don't have my first house built yet. And I need to work on getting some more enemies, or it may be a bit cramped. Or just a few bigger enemies. But when I doooooo... they better hold their heads tight!
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?
It would have to be that article that Cosmo did on crotchless panties versus going commando. That was a sweet read, and the photo-spread was simply breathtaking.
3. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
This is all one big RIAA trap, isn't it? "I am not now, nor have I ever been a member of the Communist funded P2P music stealing underground. Nyet." Let's seeeeeee... It would probably be the soundtrack to 'Spiderman 2' that I bought for Heather.
4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
That would depend on which morning and what I did the night before. Work days I aim for 6:45. HAH!
5. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
Whatever is handy that tickles. Other than that I don't play favorites. I love all my appliances equally, under God (and it tickles Him).
6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Oh sure! Just ASSUME that I don't already play an instrument! That I'm an uncultured weenie that can't play a violin any better than he can play Mortal Kombat Deception! Well I'll have you know, you're right. That said, I've always wanted to play the defibrillator. Oh! MUSICAL instrument. The keytar. HAHAHAH. Kidding. In all honesty I'm not terribly keen on playing an instrument. Sorry Trevor.
7. FAVORITE COLOR?
I like CHEESE! (also, this question was already asked in the LAST thingie like this I answered. I'm on to your tricky line of questioning!)
8. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV?
I prefer a sports car that, with a simple push of a button, transforms INTO an SUV! With missles. And a wet bar. Good times will be had then, by golly!
9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE?
At the rate I'm going, I better hope not.
10. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?
Why Timmy Can't Read (on tape & CD)
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
The Season of Love, baby! Closely followed by the Season of Our Discontent and the Four Seasons.
12. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
The power to knock down buildings with my penis. When I choose to that is. Not just randomly, like the Hulk's power. EVERYONE would hear about me. And fear me, if they happen to be in a building when I'm near. "Don't piss THAT guy off, whatever you do!" I wonder if I would then be classified as a terrorist. They would have to kill me, because there wouldn't be a prison made that could hold me. Heh.
13. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
The mummified remains of Hervé Villechaize in the back of my closet. I found it while cleaning. No idea how it got there. I must have gotten it one night when I was out drinking with the guys.
14. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
No, but I can jiggle. Does that count?
15. THE ONE PERSON/PEOPLE FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO?
The one people? Why single out "One" when you are going to add people? Since it doesn't set a maximum amount, does that mean there is a minimum amount? "No half-people visits allowed!" And do you have to talk, or can you just gawk? Fine then. Let's see... Jesus I suppose. What would we talk about? That's between me and Him, nosey.
16. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
Another repeat question! Fine. New answer: The day I ascend into heaven with all of my chosen brethren where we will be allowed to look down upon all of the rest of you sinner bastards as you suffer in Pain & Torment™ while we giggle in self-righteous glory. Yay, verily. Kidding again. I kid because I kare. Nah, I'll remain here as well, stealing the stuff of those who get ascended. So it'll still be a good day.
17. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?
What? Are you a cop? Do you have a warrant? I don't have to show you shit! I know my rights! ATTICA! ATTICA!
18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?
Well now you don't HAVE to choose! Introducing the new McKings "Ultimate Sushi Burger!" All the great taste of sushi, lightly grilled to sweet golden brown! Try it! You'll love it! We say so!
19. FROM THE PEOPLE YOU WILL EMAIL THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
I imagine that I'll be hearing from God about a couple of my answers. He's notoriously quick and righteous. Or possibly the FBI. Or God acting through the FBI. Either way, I'm screwed.
20. WHO'S LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Same answer. Because really, God's pretty busy these days what with the election around the corner. He has all those prayers to fend off. Not much to gain by singling out little ol' me. And the same goes for the FBI. There are REAL criminals out there. No point in rounding up a guy who says he wants to knock down buildings with his penis, or who has hinted that he did (even though he didn't) occasionally (never) downloaded illegal MP3s from the internet at some point (which of course never happened).
21. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM?
Angela. It's all her fault. She said I was least likely to respond. The gauntlet was thrown and I had to reply swiftly, decisively and with great ruckus. Yay me.
22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?
And another repeat question! I'm mad now! I demand my money back! And my answer is still the snapdragon. You can put one on the fingers of both hands and have a puppet show. On the cheap.
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL?
Any meal that wasn't my last meal as long as I don't know that it's my last meal. Unless it's really bad, like green bean casserole. Yuck.