Friday, March 09, 2007

Friday stuff

First, a quick follow-up to the $420 that I found in the Safeway (grocery store) parking lot on the first of this year: Other than the phone call I've heard nothing further from the woman who claimed the money had been hers. I'm inclined to believe that Trashman was correct and she was the assistant Manager's girlfriend or someone else willing to help him deflect my attention. Whatever.

That leads to a story that took place while Heather and I were shopping at the same Safeway last night. I didn't see the event discussed firsthand, but my cashier and bagger were talking about it, and it had just happened minutes earlier. The discussion went something like this:

Bagger: Hey, C. Did you see that old guy? What he did?

Cashier: No. What old guy?

B: This old guy went up to stand 9, bagged his groceries and left!

C: What?

(I looked over at stand 9. The light was off, but about four employees were gathered there.)

B: Yeah! He just took his groceries. And he waved at Paul when he left!

C: I would have been like, "Hey! You can't do that!"

B: I know, huh?

C: Wow. Is he still in the parking lot?

B: No! He, like, took off!

C: Wow.

It's funny. Heather gets really annoyed if our cashier doesn't talk to us, or even worse, talk among themselves, whereas I don't usually care one way or the other. The way I see it, if they don't want to talk to me, I don't want them to have to. It really makes me uncomfortable to be in an awkward conversation with someone that would prefer me to not be there. Also, if they are talking to each other, and you listen in, you can learn all sorts of things, like how Pablo was cheating on Stacey, but she'd found out and do you think he's cute, not that I'd go out with him or anything but if he and Stacey stay split up than who knows, you know? Yeah. Listening can be entertaining.

Since I made the mistake of changing over my template, I haven't had any kind of tracking poop in place so I have no idea how many people are bothering to visit my corner of the web any more. At least I didn't think I did. Turns out there is a stat tracker of some kind that has been emailing me every week, but the mail has been going to my junk folder. I saw one in there a few minutes ago. Opened it. Read it. Sighed. If it's in any way accurate, I'm getting, on average, one visitor a day. Most days are zero, some days are as high as five. Average is one. And there's a good chance it's counting me. Ah well, so it goes. If you are a reader who comes back more than once, I just want to say thank you. If you have any suggestions, or things you would like to see, please leave a comment.

I was thinking about money on the way in to work this morning. Specifically coins. More specifically old coins. What started me on that line of thought was the fact that my seventh anniversary with the company I work for recently passed and to mark the occasion they gave me a silver dollar for every year I've been there. So I had seven silver dollars handy, no paper money in my wallet, and a craving for breakfast burritos. A bit later I had three less silver dollars and a full belly.

None of the silver dollars were older than 1972, so there wasn't a speck of silver in them and their sum value to me was two burritos with a penny back (1980 D.).

But it got me thinking about those times when you find old, potentially valuable coins and bills in circulation. I've heard some people say for example, upon finding a very old coin, "Wow! Can you believe this has been going around from person to person since 1912?" To which I think, not really. But then I nod and play along because I might not be right. That said, I don't believe that most of the old money found these days has really been doing all that much circulating.

Here's what I think happens.

Someone a long time ago decides to collect some coins. Maybe he makes a serious effort and goes all out. Maybe he just tosses them in the back of a drawer or stuffs them in a sock as he finds them. Whichever. At some point this guy, and I'm going to be sexist here and say that the gender most likely to collect a coin is a guy because that's just the goofy kind of thing that guys do... at some point this guy beats the odds and has sex. Perhaps even more than once, that wanton odds breaker. The usual result of this sex is an offspring or two. The guy gets older. The offspring get older. The guy forgets about his coins that he had stashed away because his mind is on other things, like getting more of that sex. That shit's way better than coins! Being a guy from a few generations ago, he's probably not keeping much of an eye on the goings on of the offspring. That's wimmin's work. However, during this time they have evolved from stationary squawker/poopers through the rolley/crawlies and are now bipedal mini-shoppers with no real source of income. And they are terribly curious and able to get into any number of tight spaces. What ho?! Coins! Coins get candy and there are so many a few won't be missed. And that's how I think most of the old money gets back into circulation.

Have a great weekend you statistically non-existant reader, since I'm already at my average of one visitor today.


Heather said...

Here I am! Your reader! Do I get a prize? Everyone likes prizes, Mr. Burton.

"$20 can buy many peanuts..." that whole coin thing reminded me of Homer and his wanting a peanut! :) It's probably true what you say - Derek used to steal Dad's coins all the time!

Heather said...

Oh! And dammit, those cashiers are PAID to talk to me! Bah! Although I think we should try that walking out with grocery thing. I'll wait in the parking lot for you and if you get stopped I'll come running up and say, "Thank God you found him!" And we'll pay for them. But that old guy got away with it...

Derek Knight said...

I love being statistically nonexistant. It brings an odd sort of peace. Anyhow, even though I find your version of how money is recirculated much less romantic and fanciful, it sure was good readin'. Heck, I think it'd make a fine Freak Train set. Ok, part of a Freak train set.

Raspberry Cordial And The Stupid Pink Stick Men said...

"But then I nod and play along because I might not be right."

Ya know, it's not just coins right? I mean that's basically the way I live my entire life!! I have the interested-yet-really-thinking-about-shoes face down pat!! But then I work with a load of stereotypical comuter geeks who like to talk in acronyms and laugh if I look confused so we'll call it a safety replex!!

Anyway, just so you know. I know for a fact that 4 people check your site regularly now and I'll be sending your link to lots of my chums today so that ought to cheer you up some.

As far as being statistically non-existent, ask my geeky coworkers. Apparently if you like Microsoft you ARE statistically non-existent *pats pocket protector* haw haw haw... sheesh!!

"Boring a hole in the patient’s head creates a door through which the demons can escape, and - viola! - out goes the crazy."