Thursday, November 03, 2005

Observations and a glimpse into my dirty, dirty mind.

I found this story via boing boing. These are my observations on the situation:

  • The pervert in me regrets the lack of photos. Seriously. When in your life are you going to get to see a towering wall of boobies? For that matter, does it actually tower or is that just wishful thinking on my part?
  • I wonder if they are located near a train station or on a fault line? That would be something to see. You know. Because of the vibrations. Never mind.
  • Leave it to a Dutchman to come up with the idea. Do you think it might have something to do with growing up surrounded by dikes?
  • Talk about a generalization: "They know all about their car, but never seem to know their wife's bra size." First, I know very little about my car. It's blue and has a deer dent in the front. It runs on a combination of gasoline and my deepest wishes that it continue to do so. There you go. Second, I didn't even know I was married. Just kidding. I'm not. Not yet. I think the real reason we men don't recall our significant other's bra size is because we don't wear the things. Most of us don't at least. I'll bet those that do, remember. Normally, our sole bra concern is how to remove it all stealthy like. Size? "Off" is usually a good size, but it's difficult to wrap.
  • While I do think this is a nifty idea to help men shop for their special someone's frilly lacy knocker rockers, I really hope they are filming the men as they determine the size they need. Those are movies I'd like to see. Personally I get embarrassed just walking through a lingerie section more than twice. I can't even imagine how much worse it would be to have people staring at me while I cop a feel off a wall.
  • I wonder if they make you form a line, or is it every man for himself? Has there ever been a free-for-all at the booby wall? I just wanted to say that.
  • Do you have to agree to the purchase of a bra before they'll allow you to touch the wall? Is it legally binding?
  • If you are really short and your wife's size might be near the top, do they provide a stepladder?
  • I hope it's well secured. As funny as it would be, I wouldn't like to have my epitaph read: "He was killed by a falling wall of breasts due to forgetting to let go before walking away".
  • I wonder if you could stick a group of babies to them? It could be like a Japanese game show event. Or performance art.
  • Seriously, there needs to be a photo. For instance, are they just the silicon inserts slipped into ziplock bags and nailed to the wall, or has some effort been put into making them realistic? Are they mannequin dead white or does the tone change across the wall? What is the maximum size and is it positioned closer to the floor? I imagine there must be some realism to them since it states: "By look and touch, male shoppers can work out the right size ..."
  • And that's another thing. It says "male shoppers". Does this mean that women are prevented access to the booby wall? What if you are a lesbian out shopping for your someone significant? Do all lesbians know the cup size of their lovers? Do I really even want to know the answer to that question?
  • Are they arranged in pairs, or singles?
  • Does it say something dirty in braille?
  • Have they considered making a breast column that you could turn like a sunglass rack? They could call it a rack rack.
  • Are they planning on making a climbing wall?
  • How about a wall of willies to help women chose the right sized boxers for their men?

... and that's probably more than enough of that.

7 comments:

Heather said...

A willie wall....heheheheh!

Derek Knight said...

you're observations were longer than the actual article.

odd.

Heather said...

Hey, you! You spelled "your" wrong! And after correcting that would be stalker last week and everything...

foxymama said...

Well, you got me laughing anyway. Collin, you're a nut (a lovable one but still, a nut)... ~;^)

AndyC said...

Nice work, man. Hillarious. Wish I'd stumbled on it first :)

Kathleen said...

The mind boggles.

Anonymous said...

Nice nasty lingerie blog. I found this site that has discount lingerie : **SexyBedroomAttire**

"Boring a hole in the patient’s head creates a door through which the demons can escape, and - viola! - out goes the crazy."