Thursday, February 24, 2005

Fun with Spam



I would say, judging from their expressions, they're looking at girl-on-girl porn together on the ol' laptop. Why? Because he looks quite pleased and she's exhibiting disinterest mixed with curiosity and self loathing. Seriously, could they find another woman who looked like she wanted to be there any less than this one? I'm thinking no. Way to go, ad guys!

I recall seeing someone write about "Cialis Soft Tabs" at their blog awhile back. I only remember it because it was revealed that "Cialis" is a erectile dysfunction drug and I pointed out that "Soft Tabs" is a stupid name for something that is supposed to make you hard.

So.

On to the text:

Save up to 70% (70%)
So are you saying that normally it's that overpriced? Or will we (a very hypothetical "we") be getting ours in an alley from a guy in a trench coat who sniffs a lot and twitches?

No prescription required
Yes. Those side-alley salesmen don't usually worry about the paperwork that drug distribution normally requires. They're flexible.

You can mix alcohol drinks with these pills
Is that a serving suggestion? A prank idea? A new date rape drug just for the ladies to even things up a bit?

Acts up to 36hr. (36)
"Dear God pleaaasssseeeee! Every time I roll over I wake up screaming! I'm so tired... so tired."

Effective for 95% of the patients
You other 5% just give it up and put on a dress. Something frilly that brings out your eyes.

Only 15 minutes till you feel the effect
and then say "goodbye" to pants for the next 36 hours or so. Avoid drafts. And church.

Moneyback guarantee
"Sure buddy. I'll hang around at least 15 minutes. I promise"

Fast descreet delivery
We use ninjas. In weenie hats. It makes them faster and sneakier. There isn't a ninja on the payroll that would want to get caught in that hat.
(oh, and no biggie, but you misspelled "discreet")

Worldwide shipping
What can I say? There isn't a corner of this world where there isn't a man that needs a woody. And if he has a mailbox, by God, he'll get one! In a week or so plus 15 minutes.

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"Boring a hole in the patient’s head creates a door through which the demons can escape, and - viola! - out goes the crazy."