Friday, April 29, 2005

Very Cool Friday Thing

Found over at News of the Dead. This site offers, for free, "very high quality scans of famous screen stars and their movies, mostly from the 1940's and earlier." All I can say is, very cool!

Sketching Exercise #2

Here I go in the second round of the sketching exercise. I had two participants offering descriptions this time. First up, Kerrie:

Here's my description: pale skin, sunken eyes, protruding cheekbones, red lips, black hair.


I suppose she could have been describing Michael Jackson...

Next, thefoxymama gets most bewildering with this one:

Pink like a rose, a mind like a steel trap, a Maserati, a large dictionary, twinkly eyes and an 'updo'


Seriously Foxy, you had me stumped so I went for "funny" haha. Um. Yeah.

Anyone else interested in describing something? This time around, if you would like, make it an object rather than a person or animal.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

The girl lacks self-control.

Heather's post about Jordyn (my five year old girl for those of you new to the "scene") and her admitting to having no self-control reminded me of when I came home from work a few days back.

I walked into the kitchen and saw, written on the floor in marker, Jordyn's name. One and a half times, I believe. Heather was there with me and it was the first she had seen it as well. I think we both called her into the kitchen at the same time. She walked in with her eyes all big because she knows that tone in my voice. It's the "you're in trouble" tone.

We asked her why she had written her name on the floor. She thought for a couple seconds (you could almost see the excuses stumbling through her wee head) and then she said, "I was drawing on the paper and it slipped." And her eyes got bigger, because really, that was the best she could do?

I don't think she was trying to be funny, but we couldn't help but laugh and it lightened the mood a bit. After explaining that we knew the marker DIDN'T slip and how writing on the floor was "bad", I wiped it up with a sponge that Heather gave me. Fortunately it was one of her markers and not one of my Sharpies which would have remained in the linoleum until the floor was replaced or until God said, "Game over!"

She promised she wouldn't write or draw on the floor again.

Instead she wrote on my bathroom wall in pencil.

PoE Project #6



Now I'm back to putting the PoE box on the bottom. I've had two more votes on its placement in my comments on the third one. The majority of opinion givers seems to think it's more fun seeing what I came up with first, and then finding out why I was so randomly insane. Sounds good to me! And would you look at those hands?! Sheer poetry in lines! Not lines of words, lines on paper. That aren't letters. Nevermind; bad analogy. It just goes to show what sitting around and thinking about doing something that you've put off for around 12 years can accomplish! Wow!

Click the pic to see some of the most amazingly lifelike and intricate balloon sculptures ever to put a smile on a dying child's lips and a twinkle in God's eye! Or an "Error 404" page not found message. Or a porn site that took over the domain name when the balloonie loonies' contract expired. I don't know.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Ask not for whom the phone rings.

I talked to my daughter on the phone a few minutes ago:

she: "Guess what?"

me: "What?"

she: "Chicken butt! (laughter)" She's been doing that for AGES now, thanks to my sister.

me: "I knew you were going to say that."

she: "I just made up a new joke but you don't want to hear it."

me: "Oh? You may be right." I was thinking as I said it that I wasn't being especially supportive with her creative endeavors and that I should just grit my teeth and say, "tell me your new joke sweetie." and let it fall where it may. Don't want to damage her ego unnecessarily.

she: "It's like the fifth or fourth joke I've ever made up, but you won't like it." She does that. Uses her numbers backwards. Is that a good sign or a bad sign? I don't know but there seems to be no fixing her.

me: "Um. So. What is your new joke?" I ask with much hesitation.

she: "You can hear it if you want to, but you'll be disgusted! (lots of laughter, woo-golly good times ahead)"

But her mother made her say goodbye before I got to hear the joke. I'm guessing, and this is just a guess, but I'm guessing it has something to do with either "poop" or "farts" or SOME combination thereof, for that IS the pinnacle of humor in her mind these days. That and chicken butts.

The Conversations in My Head:

Everybody has them. I'm sure of it. Situations they find themselves in trigger little conversations in their head that never actually happen, but could have. You do it too. Don't lie to me. This is one I had while leaving work yesterday.

Scene: Me at the stop sign waiting to turn left out of the parking lot. A cop car is approaching from the left, too close to turn in front of so I wait. Five feet from the turn he flips on his signal and passes me on my side. I catch his eyes and the thoughts begin...

Me: "Oh, way to go flatfoot. I could have gone 3 seconds earlier if you had just signaled when you should have."

Him: "I'm not a beat cop*. I drive a car all day."

Me: "... flatass."

---
* I had heard ages ago that police earned the name "flatfoot" prior to the extensive use of automobiles because when they walked the beat over time they would develop arch problems. Do I have any idea if this is true? No. No I don't. But that nugget of info is what passed through a sub level of my consciousness while the "conversation" was happening. I am wired weird.

CliparToon #53: Be a mentor.

Wow. I was looking back through the posts and I noticed I hadn't done a CliparToon in quite some time. I decided last week to make fewer of them – three a week tops – to allow for other things. It was starting to feel like they were all I was doing and I didn't want that to happen. So. There you go.

This one amuses me. That's probably a bad thing, but I can't help grinning when I look at that goony child and imagine her saying that line from Silence of the Lambs. Sure, it would be far less amusing if it were happening in my bedroom at 3am, but at this distance it makes me smile. Is that so wrong?

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

PoE Project #5

Okay, I thought about not posting this one because it's... um... "not so good" BUT! I don't know if I'll have time to do much else today, so here it is, the fifth in a series that I didn't think would make it past two:



Click the pic if you wanna see if the fun, acne-scarred webpage from the year 2000 still exists.

Of all the things I draw, hands give me the most difficulty – closely followed by feet. As I'm sure you could tell. It took me longer to draw the one pinching hand than it did the rest of the drawing. As I'm sure you could tell. The hand on the table I just quickly sketched out, hated and moved on rather than mess with it any more.

This morning I spent at least 15 minutes pouring over my bookshelves in an attempt to find the book The Book of a Hundred Hands. I bought this quite a long time ago in an attempt to improve on drawing hands. It didn't work then, but I was hoping it would work now. However I couldn't find it so instead I brought Drawing Dynamic Hands which I also bought quite a long time ago in a failed attempt to improve my skills. I plan on going over it at lunch, doing some hand sketches and mastering it within the hour. Hah!

I remember in one of my life drawing courses* one instructor said that drawing hands and feet were commonly one of the most difficult things for an artist to do. Closely followed by convincing draping. That is why you will usually see a novice artist obscure the hands and feet when possible (occasionally by unconvincing draping) rather than make the attempt. I know I used to. It's time to tackle this annoyance and get past it. By God! Heh.

---
* Yes. I've had life drawing course. Four in fact. Paid oodles of money that is part of the $9,000+ I still owe in student loans, but you sure couldn't tell by looking at my work now, could you?

Monday, April 25, 2005

Sketching Exercise #1

A few days back I asked for people to describe something, without telling me what it was, and I would try to draw it and then show the results. Three people gave it a go. Here are the results:

First up, Heather:

small & light with black eyes, grey and white fur. White paws, thin white tail.


(I just rushed it near the end. It is just a sketch afterall.)

Then we have Derek, who later told me he meant "peanuts", not "corn." To which I say tough:

smallish, brown, no tail, bits of corn, no feet.


(He already told me he was describing a Snickers bar. Silly Derek, Snickers don't have CORN!)

And finally, Justin C. (who has jumped into the blogging pool and is linked in my sidebar):

small and furry like a rat, brown, eats bits of corn, has rat-like feet, a long rat-like tail, a ratty nose, makes rat sounds, and smells (oh wait... you can't draw smells...) looks like a rat. So draw that you hack! Bet you don't even know what i'm describing! HA!


(I think I'm way off on this one.)

And there you have it. If anyone else would like to offer a description for me to sketch up, feel free to do so at this post.

Friday, April 22, 2005

A game for your weekend


This is the most relaxing "game" I've played in quite some time. Give it a shot. See what kind of chain reaction you can set off. My high score is 2107.

PoE Project #4

Okay, for this one I'm trying the descriptive text at the top. Let me know if you think it's better, or it should go back to the bottom.



Click the pic to be magically (as if by magic!) transported to the referenced site. Not my fault if it turns out to be the worst mistake you've ever made. Also, I should note that some links that I'm "giving the treatment" may no longer be functional. Particularly for the older PoE links. Like this one from November of 1999. For all I know this guy went out the next month, partied like it was 1999 and was struck by a meteor. Then his relatives took down his site as a sign of respect for the dead and in an attempt to restore the family name. I just really don't know, and neither will you until you try to follow the link. G'wan. You know you want to. click...click...click...click...click...

Fine. Don't. Be difficult. I don't care. Have a good weekend anyway.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Tomorrow looks to be busy,

so I already plan on not having a clipartoon. I do have another PoE in the works which I'll post later in the day.

Here's a happy zombie:



And here he is in color:



You're welcome.

Oh yeah! I also wanted to try one more drawing exercise that I've seen someone use. What I would like you to do is leave a comment describing an object the best you can. Give as much or as little detail as you can, but don't say what the object is. I'll attempt to draw the object from your description and then post the result with your description, whereupon you can say in the comments what it was meant to be. And that's it. We'll see how it goes. Whee!

CliparToon #52: I sense a theme developing...

He just looks so sad and filled with desire for the finer things that he'll ... NEVER ... have, unless he gets motivated, rises up from his mopey seated position and engages in a five state crime spree. Nothing else will fulfill his needs and lusts. Nothing! Then he will have all the phonographs, bikes and balls that he could ever want! What are you waiting for you sad little ragamuffin?! Go! Go! Go!

Technical note: I added the "Steal it!", the rest was already there.

(Oh, and the last post made it in one, so this is what you get.)

PoE Project #3



Yes, I know, Not especially original. Gary Larson did intelligent (or at least lazy) bacteria/microbe comics decades ago. However I'm not the guy that believes they intentionally created all other life. At least I can say that.

Do any of you twenty-odd visitors have an opinion about the placement of the PoE blurb? I'm trying to decide if it would be better above the cartoon than below it. Above you would have some idea what's coming, below you get the anticipation of finding out why I did what I did. So. Which do you think works? Or, there's always the third option of, "It's not really funny either way, so stop it!"

Oh yeah, and apparently Blogger has decided to turn to crap again today. If this takes more than two or three attempts to post then I'm not posting anything else today. So that means no new CliparToon. Be strong. Hold back the tears. I know it's harsh, but it's all Blogger's fault. Hate them, not me.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

CliparToon #51: Flower Power

I wonder if that could work in other criminal enterprises? Say you're robbing a jewelry store and a cop shows up. You hand over a diamond necklace and say, "I got this JUST for you!" and smile like you mean it. Would the cop shake his finger at you and say, "You! ... G'wan. Get. Just don't let me catch you doing this again or you'll be in trouble!" Or would he toss a stiff arm into your neck, slam you to the floor on your back, flip you like a pancake and slap the cuffs on you? I guess there's only one way to find out. So. One of you go do that; tell me how it goes.

PoE Poo Redux

Okay. With this one I feel I should clarify some things. Fist, I'm not basing my drawings on the actual content at the end website. It's based solely on the description of the site given by PoE. Second, I actually do know the difference between a transsexual and a transvestite. No need to try to educate me. It's already been done. It's just that after reading the description of Cinderella Girl's site, this is what popped into my mind:



You should just sit there and be happy that your mind doesn't function like mine. It can be very distracting.

I also didn't make this one in an attempt to be judgmental in any way. What someone else chooses to wear, how to act or considers themselves to be is nothing to do with me. The last thing I want is to be beaten up by a man in a dress. Or a woman trapped in a man's body that has been surgically altered to match her gender identity. In a dress.

Oh yeah. And this is just a guess on my part, but I'm betting the end site is not work safe. I could be wrong but the really cool thing about that is I'll never know first-hand. If YOU want to know, click the pic.

Another less than proud moment

Generally, I do my best to go through life without harming others. There have been some exceptions however. I've already talked about my time as a juvenile delinquent when I was going around with a friend and letting the air out of tires. We did other things that I haven't talked about yet, but this isn't about those things. This took place a few years earlier when I was in 4th grade (or possibly 5th). And it wasn't random like the tire incident. It was personal. It wasn't my idea; I was just going with the crowd. I seem to be at my stupidest when I'm following others.

By 4th grade I was already set on a loner's path that I would follow all through school. But at the time I still wanted to fit in and be accepted by the popular kids, so from time to time I would do really stupid things to try and impress them.

One day a new student joined our school. He was Japanese and quite friendless. I didn't know anything about him, his culture, or his religion. The first contact I had with him was at recess when he was surrounded by several kids who were taunting him because he "didn't believe in Jesus." They were quite the little thug monkeys and, looking to fit in, I joined them.

As I recall they shoved him around a bit trying to "make him" believe in Jesus. I probably did a bit of shoving myself. I don't really recall. He wouldn't give in and after he picked himself up from the ground for the fourth or fifth time they grew bored and left him alone. I remember looking back at him and seeing him crying. I knew what I had done was wrong, even as I was doing it. I just couldn't help myself and at the end of it all I felt quite ashamed.

Later – an hour or a day, I don't remember – I told him that I was sorry for pushing him around and I asked him if it was true that he really didn't believe in Jesus. He told me that he and his family were buddhists and explained what that meant. I also found out that his father worked for some business that had him move a lot, so he was pretty accustomed to being picked on and he forgave me.

The next time the kids started pushing him around I stood up for him, and we both got pushed around. It was a Hallmark moment, to be sure. After school we went to his house and I met his mom and grandmother. It was my first real introduction to another culture. I had to leave my shoes at the door and everything. I remember that their house was very well decorated and smelled nice. We remained friends until his dad was transferred again.

Next time I feel like shedding some light into my dark corners I'll tell you about when I punched a girl hard in the stomach*, tripped a crippled kid or did a spot of gay bashing.

---
*I'm not sure. I might have already told this one.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

My latest distraction

I was looking through the links list at Portal of Evil last night and I had an idea. In a way it's sort of like the guy who is drawing cartoons of spam subject lines (wish I'd thought of THAT first). What I'll be doing is reading the links at PoE and, based solely on their description, I'll draw up a cartoon representing it. I have absolutely no idea if ANYbody will be happy with this (PoE or the people who own the end links), but I see it as a good exercise in screwing around. And really, that's all that matters.

Here's the first. Click the pic to visit the target link. Fair warning: some MAY NOT be worksafe. As I said, I'm not visiting them, just interpreting them.

CliparToon #50: Who is it?

Opportunities aren't really lost. They just fall over and rolled around a bit. Check under the sofa and the fridge. There are probably a good dozen or so down there. You're welcome.

Friday, April 15, 2005

CliparToon #49: Damned brats and their "bucket-o-fun"

What could possibly be in that bucket that is more fun than Halo 2, God of War, Jade Empire, Doom 3 or Taiko Drum Master?

I'll bet it's a human head.

They are way too happy for it to be anything else.

That's what happens when you force a child to get out in the sunshine, associate with others of their ilk and be all healthy and stuff. They go and find human heads to play with. Do you really want that? If nothing else, it's unhygienic.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

CliparToon #48: Whatever chops your mutton.

What can I say about this one? Nothing as I don't feel particularly funny right now and I'm afraid it shows. Just look at the sheep-man and be amused.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

CliparToon #47: Shake that money maker.

Stripping. Are you for it, or against it?

Where do you feel the limits, if any, should be? Fully nude? Topless? Pasties and G-string? Not allowed at all?

Is it morally wrong to make money by displaying your own, personal, God given or evolved skin? Is it more acceptable to earn money for causing direct harm to other people?

Should it be kept behind glass, limited to a stage or allowed in a lap?

Would you be fine with your neighbor stripping? What about your wife or girlfriend? Sister? Daughter? Mother? Where is your personal line?

Is it the display of flesh that is the problem? Or is it the other things that seem to grow around it: crime, drugs and violence?

What if there was a state run, clean, crime and drug free strip club and you knew that the strippers received good health benefits, a 401k, were tested for drugs regularly, were treated with respect by the management and were actually skilled in exotic dance rather than just wiggling around shedding clothes? Would that change how you felt?

I have no idea what the laws of stripping are around here these days – the last time I was in a "strip joint" was over 12 years ago and even before then I wouldn't have been called a "regular". Back then I recall the law was if the bar displayed full nudity – like "DejaVu's" where Pat was a bouncer – there couldn't be any alcohol served. The way a lot of patrons worked around that was to arrive pre-blitzed. If it was topless only, alcohol was allowed and the strippers didn't have to wear pasties. That might have changed, I really don't know.

I've never been to a male strip show so I know very little about them. I've heard from friends and seen in movies and on TV that when women go to a strip show it's like a big party with lots of yelling, whistling and talking to one another. However when a woman is stripping the guys watching are usually pretty quiet, keeping their eyes on the stripper, and not talking unless they are there with friends and even then it's kept to a minimum ("Got a dollar I can borrow?"). Although I have heard quite often how stripping is degrading to women, I've never heard the same applied to male strippers. I suppose being quietly appreciated is far more dehumanizing than being wolf-whistled at. Odd that. Back in the days when I did go to DejaVu's I'd heard from several of the strippers that they would rather the men make some noise to show that they were appreciated for what they were doing. It was disturbing to just be quietly watched, and I can see that point.

Personally, I have no moral problem with anyone close to me choosing to dance nude for money, as long as they don't get involved in drugs, get mixed up with criminals or allow themselves to get in a position where they are having to do more than they were willing to do.

Yes, it can be dangerous, but so can a lot of jobs. When I worked at the theater I was told to clean out the grease trap under the kitchen sink. It hadn't been done for at least two years. Two years worth of built-up popcorn oil, fake butter, nacho cheese, hot dog grease and God knows what else. It was a job that really should have gone to a company that was actually equipped to do it, but our manager didn't want to spend the money for professionals when she had perfectly able monkeys on staff. I was given a pair of heavy duty black rubber gloves and that was it. When I was finally able to pry the lid off the thing it was like opening a casket. The stink hit me like a fist and spread through the entire building. I had to dip a bucket down into this stink pit and pull up what used to be water and pour it into an empty coconut oil (artificial butter flavoring) barrel. I had the barrel about half full, was still gagging on the stink, had the slime on my shirt and pants, slipping on the drops of it on the floor and then I dipped the bucket in too far. My entire right glove filled with that fluid and I was done. I told my manager I was not going to do any more. I felt sick and I was going home and didn't think I would be back the next day. She got Sean to finish the cleaning. He wound up going to the hospital that night and was out for the following two weeks. He said he almost died. I had to throw away the clothes I had been wearing and it seemed like it took forever to get the stink out of my skin and hair. I wish I had known enough back then to try and sue the bitch. I do know this: I wasn't making even close to what a stripper could make shaking her rump for a silent fat man with funny eyes.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Photoshop Phunday Monday on a Tuesday

Okay someone somehow had the idea that last week's "for fun" cover modification was a contest of some sort. So he pitched in with great glee and even greater denial when I told him repeatedly that it wasn't a contest. It's still not a contest, however here is the cover I had in mind when I first started this whole thing:



And here is another cover that is ripe and ready to be fiddled with (click for full size cleaned off version):



Hopefully, even though this isn't a contest, Derek will once again amuse us with his results. I'm also hoping that someone else would like to join in as well.

CliparToon #46: A day late but worth the wait.

Hahahah. Not really. But what are you going to do? Cancel your subscription?

Wouldn't being Godzilla bait be just about the suckiest job in the world? I mean sure, they were really upbeat and positive about the whole thing at the interview and the benefits package was second to none – plus they had cookies and juice – but when it comes down to it you don't have much of a future. I'm pretty sure you realize that now while you sit there on the plunger with your "bait mate," resting after having set the trap and listening to Godzilla's rampage draw closer. But what can you do? You signed a three year contract with a "no escape" clause secure in the knowledge that it had been at least ten years since the last attack. Rather than recognize that it was due, you figured it guaranteed at least another ten years of peace. You gambled and lost. So it goes. But maybe, just maybe he'll turn left on Main Street rather than ri... Oh. Nevermind. Here he comes. You're screwed.

Friday, April 08, 2005

CliparToon #45: More noggin tappin' humor.

I'm blogging from home today and have things to go do and time's a wastin', so I'll make this short. "Homeowner's Helper" is just as it is in the clipart collection. THEY inverted the picture of the drill and THEY added the stupid text. Morons. Have a great weekend all!

Thursday, April 07, 2005

CliparToon #44: He's got the whole world...

Oh, wait. No. He threw it away. Now He's washing His hands while frowning and muttering about "ungrateful tenants" under His breath. He doesn't look pleased.

You know you are gaming too much

when you see someone doing something seriously stupid or nonsensical and you think to yourself, "Hm. Bad A.I."

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Do I need a new challenge?

It's too late for me to enter this contest (and probably just as well because there's no telling when it'll end) but it's an interesting challenge. I found it via Tim's blog. It turns out he took up the challenge and you can see how he's doing here. I had no idea he was interested in cartooning.

I've already challenged myself with the CliparToons, however I'm not sure it's worth continuing. Should I shift to something else? Any opinions?

CliparToon #43: A tribute to wonderful bosoms everywhere.

Even on a silly bike at night with a horny hairy Frenchman. Just remember Jacque, you may have handlebars to hang on to*, but the woman you're ogling is steering you to your doom. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Aren't breasts amazing? Let's give them a hand folks! They've been great! Take a bow! Take another! One more time for the gents in the back!

(cheering and wild applause)

And I think I'd better leave it at that.

---
* I'm referring to the ones on the bike, not his mustache you perv.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Clipartoon #42: That is one happy walking corn creature.

What could possibly excite an ear of corn enough to break free from its stalk and stride boldly forward on its feeble husks with a big smile on its corn face? Whatever it is, it must be glorious.

I'll bet you didn't know that "cornhole" was a game. Before I started down this strange path of research, I didn't either. Well, it seems that it is and the ACA (American Cornhole Association) would like to "spread the game to all 50 states in the USA" and they also seek to "provide a forum for Cornholers around the world to share ideas, information and stories."

Nowhere on their site did I find any reference to the black sheep of the Cornhole family, Cornholio nor a drop of sarcasm. I do believe they are serious and I wish them all the luck in the world in shaking off the potentially negative association that has attached itself to the word "cornhole".

According to the president of the ACA, "If you have never played Cornhole, you’ve got to try it! It is great fun for the whole family and you’ll love being a part of the Cornhole community."

That's good enough for me.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Clipartoon #41: By the drooling on my thumbs

Something whistling this way comes.

They are so vacuous looking that I think they've blown their brains out. I don't know. After seeing this I now realize what it looks like when you use your fingers to whistle. I don't think I'll ever do it again. Thank you lame clipart! You've saved my fingers from a soggy, soggy fate!

Photoshop Phunday Monday

Okay, I have no idea who here (other than Derek) enjoys messing around with pictures in Photoshop (or other, lesser photo programs). On Friday I did a photoshop of an old pulp novel cover for my girlfriend Heather that I'm sure she'll post at some point this week. I also stripped another cover of all of its text in preparation for future hijinks but at the time I couldn't really think of much to do with it. So I'm offering it to you, my readers, to jack around as you wish. Just post a link to the final image in the comments section. I'll also do one eventually and post it by Friday or so.

Here's the original:



And here's the stripped one:



Have fun!

Gotta getta new Pope

Well, as I'm sure you've heard, the Pope passed on over the weekend. It's probably for the best really considering the condition he was in. Heather was telling me yesterday that she had heard that Nostrodamus foretold (feels like FOAF stuff) the next Pope would be the Anti-Christ. Can you imagine? Going into your new job with everyone (or at least a lot of people) not only expecting you to do poorly, but that you'll bring about the end of civilization. Talk about shoes to fill. In some jobs they get angry with you for stealing some pens. It's a lot of pressure, and I would like to be one of the first to wish the new guy or gal (haha) luck in the new job, as long as they aren't a tool of Satan.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Here's that post that I didn't know if I would get posted or not.

Guess I did. Sorta. Better late than etc.



Click on the image for a larger version if you are so inclined.

Thanks to Justin C. for sending me these photos. I'm omitting the last few because they weren't as interesting; just a bigger truck coming to pull out the other truck and car – and the last one was faked with the bigger truck falling in.

Hope everyone had a good weekend. Personally, I despise this whole "losing an hour" that happened. Damned daylight savings time.

Friday, April 01, 2005

I'm so strange, I probably think this post is about me.

Heather and I were chatting on AIM when the news came through that the Pope had died (unconfirmed at the time).

---
She: Grandma was saying this morning that after 2 more popes die, that's the end of the world. I said I hoped they appointed young popes!

Me: No such thing as a young pope.

She: That's what Dad said. I guess the Italian media is saying he's dead but it hasn't been confirmed?

Me: On CNN under breaking news it says that Italian media is reporting Pope John Paul II has died and they are working to confirm.

Me: Um. Yeah.

She: We're linked today, you & I!

Me: They need to appoint a Highlander as pope. That way he'll only die if his head gets cut off. And he could go around slaying other popes. Then run back onto holy ground.

She: LOL - the vision of him chasing other popes...the robes flowing as they flee...

Me: Okay. Apparently Pope's not dead. Or he might be.

She: It all makes so much sense.

Me: He's pulling a Jesus.*

She: lmao

Me: Okay, they removed the banner.

She: So he's not dead?

Me: I guess not. They can rebuild him.

She: Robo-Pope?

Me: That's what I said to Derek when he said "They can rebuild him". Funny

Me: I guess it would be more the six million dollar pope now that I think about it.

She: Yeah!! See, I told you we were linked today!
---

Yes. I'm not Catholic. Although my mom was raised Catholic. I can't wait to hear what she thinks of this post. Also, this was not the post that I was hinting about earlier. That still may or may not show up.

-
* This is a reference to a line that Mr. Burns said on the Simpson's when everyone thought he was dead. Mr. Burns is Heather's favorite character from the show. So that makes this an in-joke as well as damnation material. Two birds, one stone.

Clipartoon #40: Someone's a little testy.

This gem is from a section of the clipart called "Human Beans".

Now, as you can probably imagine, there are an awful lot of horrible, horrible, "Human Beans" in that section. But when I saw this one, named "Elderly Bean Sewn Up" I just KNEW it was THE ONE to make it into the toon. I mean, look at it. Those sutures are suspiciously located. Why have sutures at all for that matter? Do all 'Human Beans' have their heads split open at a certain age? Is it a form of cosmetic surgery where they remove the emerging stalk? Or is he simply a loose nut trying to pass himself off as a bean? That's my guess. All he's missing are whiskers.

Now that I think about it, I have to wonder if he was really given up voluntarily. He has those arms, legs and shoes. And that cane. He may have whacked himself off one morning when his 'owner' wasn't paying much attention and then made a run for it.

The tales he tells the little beans around the fireplace are quite unpleasant, I would imagine.

I'll admit that I added the color. The original was in black & white. I just couldn't resist.

Have a good... no, a great weekend all. You've worked hard all week. You deserve it. I may have one more thing to post later. Or I may not. I'm like that.
"Boring a hole in the patient’s head creates a door through which the demons can escape, and - viola! - out goes the crazy."